The Other Side of the Door

"How did you get that?" I asked my husband, placing my fingertip on a nasty looking bruise on his chest. "I'm not sure," he replied, giving me a meaningful smirk, "but I think I might have run into a cupboard door- you know, one that somebody left open."

It's one of those standing jokes in our house, my problem with closing things.  Doors, drawers, bottle tops - I admit it, I have a very bad habit of leaving them ajar.  We all started talking about it the other night when my daughter in law mentioned how careful my son always was to close things gently and tightly.

"Hah!" I said, pointing at my husband.  "He gets THAT from you!"  Nobody disputed my point.

So then, as is my wont, I started thinking about how that tendency of mine, that inability to close things, how that might relate to my life in general.

Well, I'm sure you see it, especially if you've read this post

Closing doors tightly behind eliminates too many options, doesn't it?  After all, if I close up and lock the back door every time the dogs go in or out, I'd be doing that all day.  If I close every cupboard after I get something out of it, why, I'll just be opening it again in a few seconds to get something else.  Why make re-entry so difficult? 

But contrary to long standing habit, I just closed a door - a symbolic one, but a large and ponderous one nevertheless. 

Yes, I did it today.  All my quitting is done. I've told everyone who needs to be told, I've explained simply and with love and honesty my reasons for needing to move on.  I stood firm amidst the expected dismay and sadness and attempts to change my mind.

And I must tell you, I feel only relief, a sense of lightness and freedom such as I haven't felt in a long time.

As well as a sense of excitement, because you know what they say about doors...

When one closes - another one opens.

And I can't wait to see what's behind it.