Things I Know Right Now

These things I know right now:

• As much as I love this warm weather, love wearing my sandals and short sleeves, love sitting on the back porch with a book, love seeing the lacy white blossoms on the trees, I know that it’s much too early for spring to be here to stay, and that a sad reckoning is probably going to befall us somewhere down the line.
• As much as I enjoy playing bells with Classical Bells, as much as I’m impressed with the abilities of my fellow musicians, as much as I’m gratified by my ability to learn and grow in just a few short weeks, I know that I cannot keep playing with them as a regular member, because the schedule is simply too brutal.
• As much as I love pretty things, like two carat cushion cut diamond rings or bronze and crystal sconces to hang on the walls and fill with sweet scented candles, I know that sometimes homely things like my Viking 30” dchw 30421 cookstove are more special because they play such a huge part of my everyday life.
• As much as I wish we could have kept our home in Florida, as much as I felt that quiet place was my sanctuary from all that was harsh and cold in the world, as much as I was vain about furnishing that house from top to bottom and how pretty it looked, I know that in order to move on with our lives and have a secure future, we have to let it all go.
• As much as I wish I never had to say goodbye to people I love, as much as I want to keep everyone I care about safe and secure and happy, as much as I want to shelter everyone dear to me and protect them from every harm, I know that life and death are inescapably intertwined and nothing stays the same forever.

What do you know?

Home Again

Ah, home again. I spent a few days out in Scottsdale, Arizona with a dear friend of mine who makes it her home for the month of March. The west is so different from my usual stomping grounds - all that sagebrush and cactus and gravel. I have to admit that I prefer the verdant green landscape of Florida, and also the close proximity of the ocean.

But those mountains that surround the city are pretty awesome.

Purple mountain majesty indeed.

As you might imagine, today has been occupied playing catch up - this has been such a crazy month for me, and the one remaining week doesn’t look to be any different.

I mentioned a while back that I was working as a “Consultant” (now doesn’t that sound fancy!) at my old office, editing reports and training new writers. In the five or six months I’ve been completely out of the picture over there, I’m amazed at the way business has boomed. Exploded, actually. Working with insurance can be quite lucrative, as you well know if you’ve ever gone out seeking a workers comp insurance quote or a health insurance quote. A Prime Insurance Agency that handles thousands of clients can make a fortune. So I’m happy my little company can get in on some of that action.

For all my whinging about everything I’ve got going on, I must confess it’s sort of exciting to have so many different irons in the fire. Sometimes I like this juggling act, especially if I know there’s an end to it somewhere in the near future. Makes me feel rather proud of myself, keeping all those balls in the air successfully. The majority of this madness will come to a crashing halt on April 1, with even more of it tapering off into May and June.

Although I’m quite certain that something will happen along to fill the gap.

That’s just the way of life, isn’t it?

What’s filling the gaps in your free time these days?

Writer Unboxed

A colleague and I were discussing a former employee who had been hired (briefly) for a technical writing position. “To be honest,” my co-worker said, “she simply couldn’t write her way out of a box."

The image stuck in my mind, and I started thinking about a frustrated writer trapped inside a big brown box, scribbling furiously up and down the sides of it attempting to write their way out.

It’s easy for writers to get boxed in by fear, lack of confidence, being undisciplined. The walls of the box seem insurmountable, and we struggle valiantly to gain some kind foothold so we can work into the light of day.

Confession time.

The walls of my own box are papered with unfinished writing projects and scraps of ideas that never come to fruition.

I'm great at starting things, not so great at seeing them through to the end.

In order to persevere, I need the impetus of an outside deadline. This gives me validation to spend the amount of time and effort needed to complete the project.

Then I write, write, write, until I'm up the walls and outside of the box.

How about you? Are you writing your way out of a box, or scrabbling up the sides? What's papering the walls of your writer's box?

Mountain Climbing

A while back I wrote a post about mountain climbing. Tomorrow, I’m flying off to Scottsdale, Arizona to spend the week with a dear friend. So you probably won’t see me around these parts. I’m looking forward to some much needed down time. The pace has been hectic around here.

We won’t be climbing any mountains, though.

But they’re sure pretty to look at.

When I visit Arizona, I'm always struck by the difference in the scenery. Most every other place I travel, the vista's are green and verdant. The desert looks so very different withy its endless browns, dusty mauves and sage.

It isn't my favorite.

My friend spends a month in Scottsdale every winter, and I know she enjoys the opportunity to escape the chill midwestern winter. But if I were to go for an extended stay somewhere other than Florida, I'd look for flats to rent in Glasgow, or flats to rent in Aberdeen, or flats to rent in Edinburgh.

Talk about climbing a mountain, in more than one sense.

See you when I get back.

Write On Wednesday: Think Tank

I’ve had a lot to think about lately. Between music for school and bells,  consulting and training at my previous job, the possibility of selling our home in Florida, the ever present concern about my dad’s health and the little hole in my heart that comes from missing my grandson, my mind has been all awhirl.

When I get on a roll and start perseverating about all my projected worries to my husband, his general response is “I’m not going to worry about that until I have to. Why get all agitated about it now when you don’t even know the outcome?"

There is wisdom in this line of thinking, of course there is. He is a logical, analytical thinker, while I lead with my emotions - and mostly those born of fear and anxiety. Over the years I’ve tried reform my thought patterns, tried to substitute logic for raw feeling, but unfortunately I’ve never been too successful at it. I don’t know if you can be taught to think like an engineer or an accountant, if they offer courses in logical thinking for enrolled agents studying for enrolled agent exams.

If they did, I would probably fail.

Earlier this week I read a short e-book by novelist Ann Patchett (Bel Canto, State of Wonder) entitled The Getaway Car: A Practical Memoir About Writing and Life. In it, she talks about the way she thinks through her novels, how she can spend years just thinking about characters and plot and story before ever committing a word to paper. She writes that her first novel was written largely in her head while she was a waitress at TGI Friday’s, plotted while she carried trays of burgers and beer back and forth.

That was just an amazing concept to me, that you could focus your thoughts so intensely on something for such a long period of time. I can never manage to think about one thing for more than a few minutes before my mind flits off to worry ponder something else.

Of course the kind of writerly thinking Ann Patchett speaks of is much different from thinking like an engineer or an accountant. But it requires a similar linear pattern and focused attention to detail, otherwise it could never be productive.

How to break the “monkey mind” cycle and focus my thoughts productively?

Hmm...something else to think about.

How about you? How do you think? Like an engineer, a writer, or a “monkey” like me? Any advice for taming the monkey mind and learning to focus?