Using the Moment

The breakfast table was beside the window, and the sun caught the facets of the glass butter dish, setting them aglow. The butter on the toast melted in puddles, the shape of continents. The minute hand on the clock clicked from one designated minute to the next. It would go on like that all hour, all day. This is what happiness is, thought Nancy. And while so much of what she thought and felt went into her writing, she knew she'd never make use of this moment. It was hers to be remembered, hers alone.   ~from The Writing Circle, by Corrine Demas

Yesterday afternoon I spent almost an hour in the rocking chair, my two week old grandson cradled in my arms, rocking him and singing softly while he gazed raptly at the multicolored lights on the Christmas tree. As much as I love words and believe in their power, I don't have words within me to adequately describe that kind of happiness.

There are moments in life that defy written description. But the sensation of those moments becomes indelibly impressed on the writer and inform her senses and her emotions. While she may not consciously "use" them in her work, the way they change her experience is likely to be conveyed at some point in her writing.

My experiences with my grandson in the past two weeks have been deeply emotional and profoundly personal. While I may never write about them in detail, they have left a mark on my heart and in my soul that will change the way I see the world.

And the way I write about it.

How about you? Are there moments you'll never consciously "use" in your writing, but that will nevertheless have a huge impact on it?

 

On Notice

When my grandson gets fussy, we've learned to head for The Ball and The Christmas Tree.  (The Ball being a large exercise ball my daughter in law purchased to use during labor. The Christmas tree being - well, a seven foot Christmas tree with small multicolored lights.) Connor likes whoever is holding him to perch on the ball and bounce gently up and down while he gazes with rapt fascination at the tree lights. He can spend a good 30 minutes in this activity - an eternity in newborn minutes - perhaps longer if you sing a few songs while you bounce. Here's what I've noticed about babies, other than the fact that they wrap you around their tiny fingers in no time at all.

They really notice things.

Not just tree lights, but shadows on the wall, and ticking clocks, and whirling ceiling fans.

And faces. They especially notice faces.

I've read that newborns can only see up close - 8 to 12 inches in front of them. When Connor's eyes latch on to something of interest within this range, his entire body becomes still as if he's holding his breath. Nothing can redirect his attention. You can almost see the wheels of thought spinning in his brain - what is that? why is it there? what will it do next?

Of course, he has no name or understanding of the things he sees. But they fascinate him all the same, and stimulate his mind to work in a thousand new directions while he tries to figure it out.

I don't know about you, but I haven't noticed things in that way for eons. My eyes flit constantly from one object to the next, quickly scanning the horizon to see what's coming my way. I wonder how my life, my writing, my music might be different if I were able to stop, be still, and really notice the things in the world around me, even if I don't quite understand what they're all about. If I were to stop looking so far in front of me and take some time to focus on what's up close.

In this first week of the Advent season, we're advised to begin our Watch for the Messiah's coming. I think I'll also be on the lookout for fascinating things right in front of my eyes, things that invite me to stop, be still, and really notice them.

How about you? What are the things you take time to stop, be still, and really notice?

 

White Friday

You won't be surprised to learn that shopping is NOT on my agenda today. With each passing year, I am less enthused about the material aspect of the holidays. At age 55, I have all the stuff I want, and if there is stuff that I truly need, I get it for myself when finances allow.

I'm calling today White Friday, because I won't be adding any black ink to merchants bottom line. Instead I'll be helping put the finishing touches on the Christmas tree decorations (Connor loves looking at the multi-colored lights), taking our official Christmas card portrait, going for a walk to the park down the street, and tending baby as needed.

In a short while we'll be driving my husband to the airport as he wends his way home to Detroit (boo-hoo). We'll all miss him. He's developed a rapport with Connor that we count on as the last resort (besides nursing of course) when the Babe gets cranky. Yesterday morning, Connor listened with rapt attention to his grandfather's long discourse on subjects ranging from backyard swings to the nature of gravity to the proper way to manage people when supervising a project.

Those are the special moments that put the black ink in my profit and loss statement.

So how are you spending your post-Thanksgiving Friday? Are you in the "white"?

What the Novice Should Do - A Lesson for Writers from a Home Cook

The novice should try some fairly easy dish that requires long cooking. The novice should consult several recipes and read them over a few times until he or she has gotten them straight in his or her mind. And the novice should call up the best cook he or she knows and listen to what that person says. And then the novice should stick to it. ~Home Cooking, by Laurie Colwin

Since my "retirement" I've had the time (and inclination) to dabble with Cooking. I mean, of course, the kind of cooking that's more complex than the standard recipes I've relied on for the past three decades of homemaking. To inspire me, I turned to some well known food writers for their insight and experience in the art of food preparation and enjoyment. Home Cooking, by Laurie Colwin, was mentioned as one I should read.

Life and art intersect all over the place, so it's not surprising that Cooking would have things to teach the Writer. Colwin's advice to the novice cook jumped off the page and set me thinking that it served just as well for the person planning their first novel as preparing their first dinner party.

Should the novice writer jump right in and begin the magnum opus that will make their name in literary history? Probably not. "Some fairly easy dish that requires long cooking" would certainly be more appropriate. Start out by writing a journal in which you describe events that happen to you, characters you know well or chance to meet in coffee shops. Write a little bit every day for a long number of days (maybe forever), write easily and freely and don't worry overmuch about getting it perfect just yet.

Consult other writers and teachers of writing. Learn the rules of grammar and composition. Read about writing and how others go about the process until you get it straight in your mind.

Call up the best writers you know by reading their books over and over. Study the way they put sentences together and string those sentences along on the page. Listen to the rhythm of their words and learn what works. Find other writers around you and have a conversation with them. Listen to what they say about how they prepare meals of words.

Most importantly of all, stick to it. Determination and patience are the keys to perfection, in the kitchen or on the page.

How about you? What's your recipe for writing success?

A Kardashian of Another Color

On the Grand Finale of Dancing With the Stars, 24-year old Rob Kardashian finds himself a surprising but real contender for the coveted mirror ball trophy. Just a few weeks ago, I was bemoaning his sister Kim's recent behavior, but this member of the Kardashian family is definitely a horse of a different color. Rob started out as a somewhat reluctant competitor on this glittery ballroom dance competition. He said his mother "made him" do the show in hopes it would boost his confidence level. He was oddly shy and self conscious, and referred to himself as being "fat." His dancing was competent, but lacked personality.  He readily admitted he was "not a performer," and found the whole dance experience very challenging.

But throughout the competition, he has really shown his mettle. He never complained about the work required, and always affably did whatever his partner demanded. He  never copped an attitude with the judges critical comments. He was gracious in accepting praise, and unpretentious with audience acclaim.

About four weeks ago his work ethic started paying off and he broke out of his shell, looking relaxed and even excited on the floor. He began taking the lead in his dances, exuding a manly presence that was not in evidence before.  As the other competitors fell by the wayside, his scores steadily rose and he landed himself in the finale, one of the top three couples left in the competition.

Last night in the final performances he scored his first perfect score, rising to the top of the pack. Like a dark horse, he has pulled away from the leaders at just the right moment, and could very well cross the finish line first when the champion is crowned later this evening.

I've enjoyed watching this young man come into his own on this show, and have to give his mother a little credit for once. In "making" him enter this competition perhaps she realized that he needed an area where he could shine on his own, away from the spectacle his sisters routinely make of their lives. He has pulled to the head of the pack not only on the dance floor, but within his own family too, as a positive example of determination and discipline.

Whatever happens on the show, I think the old Armenian ladies would be very proud of young Rob.

I know I am.

He's one cool Kardashian.