Write On Wednesday: Outside Opinion

Earlier this summer I participated in an online writing class which turned out to be a very rewarding experience.  I completed six essays on a variety of topics and in a variety of formats, connected with six other amazing writers and got the benefit of their feedback on my work, and got some vital insights about ways I could improve my writing. It's been a long time since I put my writing up for grabs.  Sure, I write blog posts all the time, but since you all are such a forgiving group those posts are like chatty letters to a friend rather than a piece of writing  up for critical review.  I won't lie and say it wasn't a little scary to write something completely different and then put it online for my classmates to read and critique.  But luckily my fellow writers were very supportive, our group leader was gentle, and we all learned a great deal.

Something I missed growing up as an only child was the opportunity to have a critic, someone not afraid to tell you when your outfit looks dorky or your haircut is lame.  I'm sure those of you with siblings are saying, "Opportunity?? It's more like a pain in the a#@!!"  But, taken (and given) in the right spirit, an outside opinion can prove invaluable as you're learning to navigate the wider world.

Same with the world of writing, I think.  Anne Lamott refers to her "second opinion" readers as "midwives," who bring her best work to life. "Theoretically I could do it alone," she says, "but it sure makes it easier to have people helping." I know that I appreciated the writers I worked with this summer, and will not hesitate to seek outside opinions whenever I'm able.

 

Outside Opinion

"I always show my work to one of two people before sending a copy to my editor or agent. I feel more secure and connected this way, and these two people get a lot of good work out of me. They are like midwives; there are these stories and ideas and visions and memories and plots inside me, and only I can give birth to them. Theoretically I could do it alone, but it sure makes it easier to have people helping." Anne Lamott, from Bird by Bird

Other than blog posts, most of my writing is done in a vacuum. No one ever reads the scribblings that go in all the assorted folders on my computer - the "creative nonfiction" folder, the "memoir" folder, the "short story" folder, and certainly not the "novels" folder. For some time, I've had a nagging feeling that this needed to change, that it would not only be nice, but advantageous, to have another pair of eyes look at this stuff and tell me if it's worth anything more than just a way to fill time.

The perfect opportunity arose when one of the  bloggers I most enjoy offered a six week online creative nonfiction class. Andi is a writing teacher and a creative nonfiction writer, and I thought this would be the perfect way to inch my writing out into the world.

I was right. It was a grand experience, not at all painful, and it gave me not just one pair of eyes, but six more too. It helped me see what I was doing well, and not-so-well, how I needed to go deeper into my subject and my psyche in longer essays, as opposed to the short blog posts I'm used to writing. I learned that I have a tendency to mix up tenses all too often. I'm more aware on unnecessary phrases, and of those that need more explanation.

Revision has always been the most difficult part of writing for me, because it's hard for me to know where I'm going wrong. Having a group of writing partners for a few weeks started pointing me in the right direction.

Andi is offering the Intro to Creative Nonfiction class again come September - check it out here, along with her Facebook page, and her blog. She is also part of a consortium of other writers, The Whole Story Media Group, who have come together to offer editing and marketing assistance with all manner of writing projects.

Getting Ready

I'm getting ready for a trip here in a couple of days.  Heading out on a jet plane to one of the hottest spots in the nation right now. And I mean that literally.

Yes, we're on our way to Frisco, Texas, which, along with the rest of the greater Dallas area, has enjoyed a record breaking 37 days of temperatures over 100 degrees.

And we thought the hurricanes in Florida were bad.

What I'm wondering is, if my only child has to live 1500 miles away from home, why does it have to be in a place where the weather plays these ridiculous tricks on people? First it was Florida, with the ever present threat of being swept away by tidewaters and tropical winds. In Texas, apparently you run the risk of being roasted alive. That is, if you don't spontaneously combust from the drought. It's not bad enough that he drags me and his father into these places, now he's bringing my grandson into the world to live in extremis along with the rest of us.

But, like any red-blooded American mother, I goeth wheresoever my offspring goeth. So off I goeth to Frisco, and pray the power stays on.

Seriously, I think I'm part of a new breed of parent/grandparent. Like nomads, we wander around the world so that we can spend a few precious moments every now and again with our children and their children. Within my fairly limited social circle I have friends who travel to Missouri, Vermont, Santa Barbara, Phoenix, and Texas to visit their children. I suppose I should be thankful - one of my friends from work just welcomed her first grandchild in Norwich, England.  And of course, my daughter in law's poor parents live on the other side of the world, at least in terms of visiting this new grandson.

But don't get me wrong - I'm thankful that I have the ability to make the trip, and make it fairly frequently if I so desire.

After all, when you're getting ready to welcome a new grandson in the family, what's a little heat wave?

Food Fancy

It's ironic that I would open the latest issue of Creative Nonfiction magazine which is dedicated to food while eating my meager breakfast consisting of an oatbran muffin baked over a week ago, a tiny dish of blueberries, and a half glass of grapefruit juice. It's even more ironic that I would continue reading it during my lunch, which was more pathetic yet - a meager amount of tuna salad on dry wheat bread and a handful of Goldfish crackers, washed down with the lukewarm water in my Sigg bottle - particularly since the article was a wonderful interview with Ruth Reichl, who is my absolute heroine in the food writing department. She had some great thoughts about food, and writing, and why we're so interested in the whole subject of gastronomy these days. I'm just glad she didn't see what I was eating - there was certainly nothing to write about in those meals.

In fact, she talks about this very subject in the interview.  "People want that connection to food," she says, "because they're getting up, they're not eating breakfast, they're grabbing fast food for lunch, and coming home and sticking something in the microwave for dinner. Everybody eats on their own. I think people take cookbooks to bed to pretend. I always thought those spreads we did in Gourmet (magazine) were so important to people because they were like virtual dinners and people wanted to put themselves at that table."

I'm not quite as bad as the typical eater she describes. I usually eat three fairly healthy meals, and they're mostly prepared at home.  But I do have a lot more interest in the idea of food than in the actual food itself. I love to peruse the cookbook section in the bookstores, and can easily spend hours watching people like Ina Garten and Giada Laurentis on the Food Network. I could make that! I think, as Ina dishes up some delightfully elegant and seemingly effortless dish to her guests in the garden.

But I don't.  Oh, sometimes I might go as far as looking up the recipe on-line and even printing it out.  I'll put it in my "recipes to try" folder, where it sits until the twelfth of never.

And I love reading about other people's experience with food. Ruth Reichl has written two delicious food memoirs, Tender at the Bone and Comfort Me With Apples.  I get completely lost in those books, and want to eat everything she talks about in them.

But I don't.

I think we all have a food story.  Nothing seems more fraught with ways to complicate our lives than food.  We either love it too much and overindulge, or hate it (or at least its effect on our bodies) and become anorexic.  I grew up with the Southern outlook on food - it's love, it's comfort, somebody worked hard to make it for you so have another helping honey, there's plenty more where that came from. When I go home to my mother's house, no matter what she's cooking I'll eat it up - even if I know in my heart it's not good for me, even if I don't really like it all that much anymore.

My relationship with food is actually rather ambivalent. I enjoy it, but I don't think about it overmuch. If there is really good food available, I'll gladly eat it, but if not, I'm just as happy with the oatbran muffin or the paltry tuna sandwich. I've often said if I lived alone I'd probably subsist on tomato soup and tuna salad sandwiches, with an occasional spinach and feta cheese omelet thrown in for variety. I sometimes resent all the time and money it takes to put those three relatively healthy meals on the table, and occasionally wish I could just swallow a pill that would satisfy my hunger pangs and give me all the nutrition I need.

But then I wouldn't be able to enjoy the dinner I just had.  Homemade chicken pot pie, loaded with tender chunks of chicken, carrots, snap peas, and potatoes, all blanketed within velvety gravy, with garden fresh roast zucchini, sweet corn, and sliced tomatoes on the side.

Yum.

Now that's a meal worth writing about. And definitely a meal worth eating.

How about you? What's your relationship with food? Do you love to love it, or just plain love it?

 

 

China Patterns

When we got married (ages and ages ago!) I was particularly excited about choosing a china pattern.  I don't know if modern brides "register" for china patterns and place settings any more, but it was still a very important thing to do in the 1970's. I spent hours and hours perusing the gorgeous displays on the third floor Fine China department at J.L. Hudson's, our best department store.  Even though I adored the Royal Doulton floral designs, I finally settled on a white-on-white pattern made by Noritake, because I thought it would be versatile and I would have a better variety of choices for my table linens. (Wasn't I smart for a 20 year old?)  I also liked the name of my pattern - Affection - which appealed to my quite romantic nature.  Once I'd chosen my "fine" table service, I moved on to register for the "everyday" settings.  Here I chose a floral pattern (tiny pink roses) on ironstone china, a heavy tableware meant to withstand daily use. I've always had a china fetish, though you wouldn't know it to look at the cheap Corelle dishes I've been eating from for the past 15 years.  I love to set a pretty table, and enjoy looking at table settings in stores and on magazines.  When we left our house in Florida last spring, intending to put it on the market, I actually set the dining room table with all my matching dish and glassware, and bought new table linens to coordinate. I remember when we looked at the furnished models that the table settings made the homes look so inviting.

Somehow using pretty dishes enhance the whole dining experience. Food even tastes better I think, when it's presented beautifully on lovely dining "elements."  We traditionally had holiday dinners at our house (using the Affection china), and my father in law always remarked that the coffee was so much better in those china cups. My mother in law would say he was being silly, but I don't think he was. Aside from the fact that the coffee I made was fresh brewed and not the Taster's Choice crystals he drank at home, it did seem to taste richer when sipped from the silver rim around those delicate china cups.

I started thinking about china today because I was searching in the bottom of my china cabinet (yes, I also got one of those when I got married) for a silver baby cup that someone gave me when my son was born.  To find it, I had to take out all eight place settings of Affection china from where they've been stacked inside the dark cabinet for the past eleven years.

Yes, it's been eleven years since I've used my "fine china." I suppose I should just pull it out of the china cabinet and use it everyday - why save it now? Aside from the fact that there's probably zero chance of hosting a dinner party or holiday meal in this house ever again, why not use something that might bring me a moment's small pleasure each time I sit down to eat?

I suppose there's still just enough of the eager young bride's mentality left deep within me that I want to safeguard my "good china." It represents an idealized time in my life, when I had so much still ahead of me. Giving it up for everyday use almost feels like giving up, like resigning myself to letting all those dreams go forever.

I'm not ready to do that just yet.

But I might leave out a couple of cups and saucers just for my morning coffee.

How about you? Do you have a set of "fine china" that means something special to you?