Seriously Fun

Today was a seriously fun day.  An outsider looking in would undoubtedly say "What's so fun about walking the dogs or running errands or going to the library?"   "What's fun about cooking dinner and pulling weeds in the flower patch?" You'll just have to trust me on this.  I had fun.

I literally feel about 100 pounds lighter since I quit my job.  Even though I'm still technically working and training my replacement, there's this huge sense of freedom in knowing I'll no longer be shuffling papers and messing about with Excel spreadsheets and postage meters and copy machines.  No more checking and double checking to make sure that one attorney got their copy of the report e-mailed, and another got hers regular mail, and who was it that won't pay for postage, and which one only wanted medical records after the treatment was completed?  And don't forget to print the invoice on gray paper, and make sure you send a complete client history to this new doctor we have an appointment with, and if you can get that out today that would be greaaaat.

Whew.

The more I think about being done with all that, the happier I feel.  I could float on air, I'm so happy about it. What the heck took me so long?

So today was a laid back, do nothing but putter around sort of day.  Added to that, the sun was shining and it actually felt almost like spring for the first time in 2011. I picked up some new library books and hauled my lawn chair into the middle of the yard where I actually lay in the sun reading  napping for about an hour.   I'd probably still be there if Magic hadn't roused me by chasing a rabbit across the lawn.  I've got some nice things coming up this weekend- and next.   And I've just learned some very, very exciting news, which I'll tell you more about in a couple of days.

I guess I wouldn't want a steady diet of days like this - I probably need a little more structure for the long haul - it was seriously fun to just chill out for once.

I could definitely get used to it.

How about you?  Did you do anything seriously fun today? 

An Apple for the Teacher

My primary role during these last few days of work turns out to be that of teacher, a role which I usually attempt to shy away from.  As a child, my main ambition was to be a teacher, and it was one of the games I most often played - using my dolls and stuffed animals for students.  Of course they were the perfect subjects, being completely attentive and receptive to all the knowledge I imparted so eagerly.  My dog Ginger presented the only behavior  problem in the classroom, but she was easily pacified with a Milk Bone so we could get on with the lesson. When I got to college and did a little practice teaching in a real live classroom, I was quickly disabused of my idealism. Nobody sat raptly awaiting my pearls of wisdom. I decided I didn't have the patience or the confidence for teaching. Of course, I've ended up working a good part of my life in classrooms, but I was never the one in charge, and that suited me just fine.

But the past couple of weeks, I've been teaching my replacement all the ins and outs of this job I've been doing for the past 10 years.  It's a detail intensive position, and it's a daunting task to articulate all the parts of this process.  But I've finally been granted a student who is nearly as receptive as those stuffed animals lined up on the sofa. The young woman who was hired to replace me is bright, personable, and interested in the job.  She's a quick study, a fast worker, and an absolute joy to teach.

"Ohhh, I get it!"  she'll say with a big smile.

"Now it makes sense!" she exclaims.

Music to a teacher's ears.

Even better, she's already looking for ways to improve things.

"Would it be alright if I tried something?" she'll ask, and start whisking away at my messy Excel spreadsheet, improving it tenfold in the space of five minutes.  Even though I've told her to streamline and reorganize as she sees fit, she's careful not to overstep and is always sensitive to my feelings about the process I've used for so long.

I still think I made the right decision when I transferred out of the school of elementary education in college.  But it's fun having a "dream student" at least once in my life - especially one I don't have to ply with Milk Bones.

And Justice for All

Most people would say Osama Bin Laden got what was coming to him, and not a moment too soon.  Finally, this man who perpetrated violence, hatred and intolerance has been eradicated from the earth, hunted down like a vicious animal and shot in the head.  And even though I'm usually all about kindness and peacefulness and giving people the benefit of the doubt - today, I have to agree with popular opinion. I'm glad he's dead, and I'm glad the United States Navy can claim the victory.

It's pretty unusual for our government to publicly take responsibility for murder.  I imagine it happens more often than we'd care to know about, that the President sanctions a "hit" on a terrorist, or "looks the other way" when a political dictator is assassinated.  But I can't recall in my lifetime an instance where the President of the United States announced with pride that armed forces personnel had carried out an operation with the intent to kill.   I have to believe that's a difficult order to give for any President, no matter how reviled the intended target, which is why it occurs so rarely.

But then, it was a pretty rare thing that Bin Laden did, masterminding that horrific attack on the United States which  set in motion nearly a decade of war and economic disaster. Because of him, thousands of people are dead, thousands of families torn apart, thousands of lives disrupted.  Because of him, the course of history was changed, and not for the better.

I believe the American people are right to feel vindicated by Bin Laden's death - he did grievous and irreparable harm to our nation and to many innocent people.  I have mixed feelings about some of the celebratory atmosphere surrounding this occasion that doesn't feel quite right to me.  It's not, after all, like winning the Stanley Cup or the World Series.  It's about doing something that was necessary but still distasteful because it goes against what we should stand for as a peaceful, non-violent people.

But I believe Osama Bin Laden and the minions who died with him today were "brought to justice" as the President said, and as George Bush promised they would be on that September morning almost 10 years ago.  And I hope this event brings a measure of  healing to the scars left on this nation by the attacks of September 11, 2001, and that it marks the beginning of a new era of peace in the rest of the world.

Choices Are My Downfall

I am really good at getting excited to do something. I'm not quite as good at actually doing it.

from Life from Scratch, by Melissa Ford

Ah, yes.  The excitement of thinking up things to do.

I am REALLY good at that.

Right now, my list of exciting things to do is at least a mile long and growing.  It starts out pretty big -sell all my houses and all my possessions and start completely over-and winds down into things as mundane as learn to cook fish fifteen different ways.  In between are the more middle of the road items - write a book, start a chamber music group, get into an orchestra, volunteer in a hospital, take a yoga class, etc., etc., etc.,

Nobody ever accused me of not having dreams.

But when it comes right down to actually DOING something about these millions of ideas - well, there we have a different kettle of fish.

Part of the problem lies in the myriad of choices I've laid out for myself.  Choices are my downfall,  even when it comes to things as simple as where to go for dinner.  There are always so many enticing possibilities, each one inviting in its own way.  How do you choose?  The risk of making the wrong choice soon becomes overwhelming.   What if I end up wasting time and effort and money on something that doesn't pan out?  Or that I'm not any good at doing?  What if I choose the completely wrong thing and waste the opportunity to get started on the right thing?

Here's where all the "living in my head" business begins to impede my progress.  In my head, I can invent a million interesting and exciting possibilities for the rest of my life.  But also in my head, I can talk myself out of doing any of them.

For those of you who are making progress in getting on with life, how do you decide what to do next?  Do you go on instinct?  If it feels right, do it?  Do you make the most practical choice?  the one that requires the least effort?  Or do you write everything down on scraps of paper and pull one out of a hat?

So tell me - I'd really like to know.

Because I've got this really long list, and I'd like to get on with it.

This Is The Day

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future. ~The Bishop of London, April 29, 2011.

I really hadn't paid much attention to the media coverage of the Royal Wedding, other than a rather motherly smile and nod at the young couple's face plastered on all the newspapers.  "Sweet," I'd think to myself, and then continue on with my busy-ness.

But then my husband (!) indicated he'd like to get up early this morning to watch the festivities.  I sometimes forget that Jim has more Brit blood in his veins than anything else, and is, after all, only one generation removed from the land across the pond. Besides that, he's a real sucker for the British pomp and circumstance.  So I agreed - what woman wouldn't want to get up at 5 am and watch a royal wedding with her husband?  Is that romantic, or what?

We arose dutifully on time, and put the coffee on, then settled in with half the rest of the world to watch the extravaganza from start to finish.  I loved seeing the outfits (oh, those marvelous hats!)  and hearing the music (John Rutter's anthem was glorious!)  The bride was a true princess, and the groom - well, I still feel a tug at my heartstrings when I remember that poor, motherless boy walking behind his mother's coffin.

Besides, it was uplifting to watch something on television that wasn't either a natural disaster, a political revolution, or some fresh hell of corruption and evil.  Something happy for change ~ and what could be happier than a fairy tale wedding?

But the real joy of the royal wedding was the sense of timelessness and hope about it.  For centuries on end royal brides and grooms have walked that aisle in Westminster Abbey, taking their place in the family tree of Britain's monarchy.  A chill runs down my spine when I think about Kate walking the same path this morning that Matilda of Scotland walked in 1100 (almost one thousand years ago!) to wed King Henry I.  And even though times and technology change, the wedding ceremony remains nearly the same, with its age-old responses and rituals still intact.

Every wedding embodies the spirit of the future while harkening to the past, and every time we see a wedding, we recall our own with whatever emotions are attached to it.  The marriage ceremony is such an outward expression of hope and committment that those who witness it can't help but be touched by it.  The Bishop of London said it best in his homily - "In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future." 

Life flowing through them into the future - that's what a wedding is all about.  In a world where we dwell so deeply on the mistakes of the past and the problems of today, it was worth getting up early to be reminded of that.