And Justice for All

Most people would say Osama Bin Laden got what was coming to him, and not a moment too soon.  Finally, this man who perpetrated violence, hatred and intolerance has been eradicated from the earth, hunted down like a vicious animal and shot in the head.  And even though I'm usually all about kindness and peacefulness and giving people the benefit of the doubt - today, I have to agree with popular opinion. I'm glad he's dead, and I'm glad the United States Navy can claim the victory.

It's pretty unusual for our government to publicly take responsibility for murder.  I imagine it happens more often than we'd care to know about, that the President sanctions a "hit" on a terrorist, or "looks the other way" when a political dictator is assassinated.  But I can't recall in my lifetime an instance where the President of the United States announced with pride that armed forces personnel had carried out an operation with the intent to kill.   I have to believe that's a difficult order to give for any President, no matter how reviled the intended target, which is why it occurs so rarely.

But then, it was a pretty rare thing that Bin Laden did, masterminding that horrific attack on the United States which  set in motion nearly a decade of war and economic disaster. Because of him, thousands of people are dead, thousands of families torn apart, thousands of lives disrupted.  Because of him, the course of history was changed, and not for the better.

I believe the American people are right to feel vindicated by Bin Laden's death - he did grievous and irreparable harm to our nation and to many innocent people.  I have mixed feelings about some of the celebratory atmosphere surrounding this occasion that doesn't feel quite right to me.  It's not, after all, like winning the Stanley Cup or the World Series.  It's about doing something that was necessary but still distasteful because it goes against what we should stand for as a peaceful, non-violent people.

But I believe Osama Bin Laden and the minions who died with him today were "brought to justice" as the President said, and as George Bush promised they would be on that September morning almost 10 years ago.  And I hope this event brings a measure of  healing to the scars left on this nation by the attacks of September 11, 2001, and that it marks the beginning of a new era of peace in the rest of the world.

Choices Are My Downfall

I am really good at getting excited to do something. I'm not quite as good at actually doing it.

from Life from Scratch, by Melissa Ford

Ah, yes.  The excitement of thinking up things to do.

I am REALLY good at that.

Right now, my list of exciting things to do is at least a mile long and growing.  It starts out pretty big -sell all my houses and all my possessions and start completely over-and winds down into things as mundane as learn to cook fish fifteen different ways.  In between are the more middle of the road items - write a book, start a chamber music group, get into an orchestra, volunteer in a hospital, take a yoga class, etc., etc., etc.,

Nobody ever accused me of not having dreams.

But when it comes right down to actually DOING something about these millions of ideas - well, there we have a different kettle of fish.

Part of the problem lies in the myriad of choices I've laid out for myself.  Choices are my downfall,  even when it comes to things as simple as where to go for dinner.  There are always so many enticing possibilities, each one inviting in its own way.  How do you choose?  The risk of making the wrong choice soon becomes overwhelming.   What if I end up wasting time and effort and money on something that doesn't pan out?  Or that I'm not any good at doing?  What if I choose the completely wrong thing and waste the opportunity to get started on the right thing?

Here's where all the "living in my head" business begins to impede my progress.  In my head, I can invent a million interesting and exciting possibilities for the rest of my life.  But also in my head, I can talk myself out of doing any of them.

For those of you who are making progress in getting on with life, how do you decide what to do next?  Do you go on instinct?  If it feels right, do it?  Do you make the most practical choice?  the one that requires the least effort?  Or do you write everything down on scraps of paper and pull one out of a hat?

So tell me - I'd really like to know.

Because I've got this really long list, and I'd like to get on with it.

This Is The Day

In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future. ~The Bishop of London, April 29, 2011.

I really hadn't paid much attention to the media coverage of the Royal Wedding, other than a rather motherly smile and nod at the young couple's face plastered on all the newspapers.  "Sweet," I'd think to myself, and then continue on with my busy-ness.

But then my husband (!) indicated he'd like to get up early this morning to watch the festivities.  I sometimes forget that Jim has more Brit blood in his veins than anything else, and is, after all, only one generation removed from the land across the pond. Besides that, he's a real sucker for the British pomp and circumstance.  So I agreed - what woman wouldn't want to get up at 5 am and watch a royal wedding with her husband?  Is that romantic, or what?

We arose dutifully on time, and put the coffee on, then settled in with half the rest of the world to watch the extravaganza from start to finish.  I loved seeing the outfits (oh, those marvelous hats!)  and hearing the music (John Rutter's anthem was glorious!)  The bride was a true princess, and the groom - well, I still feel a tug at my heartstrings when I remember that poor, motherless boy walking behind his mother's coffin.

Besides, it was uplifting to watch something on television that wasn't either a natural disaster, a political revolution, or some fresh hell of corruption and evil.  Something happy for change ~ and what could be happier than a fairy tale wedding?

But the real joy of the royal wedding was the sense of timelessness and hope about it.  For centuries on end royal brides and grooms have walked that aisle in Westminster Abbey, taking their place in the family tree of Britain's monarchy.  A chill runs down my spine when I think about Kate walking the same path this morning that Matilda of Scotland walked in 1100 (almost one thousand years ago!) to wed King Henry I.  And even though times and technology change, the wedding ceremony remains nearly the same, with its age-old responses and rituals still intact.

Every wedding embodies the spirit of the future while harkening to the past, and every time we see a wedding, we recall our own with whatever emotions are attached to it.  The marriage ceremony is such an outward expression of hope and committment that those who witness it can't help but be touched by it.  The Bishop of London said it best in his homily - "In a sense every wedding is a royal wedding with the bride and the groom as king and queen of creation, making a new life together so that life can flow through them into the future." 

Life flowing through them into the future - that's what a wedding is all about.  In a world where we dwell so deeply on the mistakes of the past and the problems of today, it was worth getting up early to be reminded of that.

Unsettled

It's late April, and our weather is still very unsettled.  Every day brings something unexpected - we have wind, rain, hail, sun, all within the space of an hour or two.  Yesterday the sun was shining beautifully, the mercury rushed up to 75 degrees, but the wind was howling like November.  After the long difficult winter, we need spring to settle in so we can all relax. More than the weather is unsettled, too.  I've been fretting about a dear friend and her teenaged son who are going through some very difficult times.  For some while now, he's been having emotional problems, and they are culminating in some very painful circumstances  for the whole family.  My friend is such a good mother, such a caring, responsible person, with all the same hopes and dreams we all have for our first-borns.  And yet I'm fearful that those will never be realized, and that life will always be a struggle for this boy of hers whom she loves so much.

Although they haven't gotten a definite diagnosis, Dr. Becca's five-cent's worth is that it's  Asperger's Syndrome.  The signs are all there, and if I think about it, have been there since he was small.  Obsessiveness, lack of eye contact, difficulty engaging with other people, outbursts of anger.  Now that he's a teenager with the tumultuous changes inherent in that stage of life, all these symptoms have converged to create havoc in the poor kid's head.

My dear friend tries so hard to be practical and upbeat while maintaining a grip on reality.  Yet when she refers to her son as "my boy," the catch in her  throat makes my mothering heart ache.  So when I awoke again to another day of heavy, wet, oppressive skies and then heard the sound of pouring rain pounding the roof, I couldn't help but shiver a little.

Unsettled.

How about you?  Is your world on an even keel these days, or are you feeling unsettled too?

Support System

Put your desk in the corner, and every time you sit down there to write, remind yourself why it isn't in the middle of the room.  Life isn't a support-system for art.  It's the other way around.  ~On Writing, by Stephen King

These lines appear at the end of a chapter in King's book in which he discusses a difficult time in his writing life, a time when he was drinking a lot - a habit that was wreaking havoc on his family life.  In King's mind "creative endeavor and mind altering substances" were entwined, and he feared that without drinking, he wouldn't be able to write.  Alcohol had become a flawed support system for his writing life.

As writers, we seek support for our creative endeavors, hopefully in more positive sources than alcohol or drugs.  Sometimes it comes from a trusted friend or spouse, or from a set of rituals that surround our writing habits.   But at the end of the day we must be self-supporting, must look within for the confidence to sit at the desk in the corner of the room and meet our ideas head on, mold and shape them into something worthy of putting on a page.

How about you?  Are you a self-supporting writer? Do you have  healthy support systems in place to sustain your creative endeavors?