Worry Wart

When you're a writer, your head is where you live, and if your head is in a distracted, uncomfortable, or painful place, that's all you've got."  ~Dani Shapiro

The other day someone told me that I "live in my head," an assessment that was not meant to be totally complimentary. I'd never considered myself a terribly cerebral person, but I began to reconsider after hearing that comment.  I realized there was definitely truth in those words, and, most importantly, I realized that the living going on in my head was not always healthy.

I worry a lot, and most of that worrying takes place inside my mind where I can stir and agitate and magnify my anxieties into something odious and even dangerous.  Because all this worrying tends to interfere with my ability to move forward with life in general, and sometimes stops my writing dead in its tracks.

We all have worries - bills pile up on the counter, family members get sick and need attention, our jobs make impossible demands on our time and energy, relationships founder.  It's vital to develop healthy coping strategies.  While some people will turn to junk food and alcohol, others find refuge in exercise or needlework, or music.

Use writing as one of those healthy coping strategies for your worries.  Writing about your fears often helps you make sense of them, plus it infuses your writing with a sense of reality and intensity.  Create a fictional character who faces your deepest worry head on and help that character come to terms with it.  Make a list in your journal of everything  you're worried about - then turn the page and make a list of every possible good thing which could dispel those fears.  Research something you're worried about - the environment, the effects of depression, problems which develop in childhood - and write about your research.

You might be surprised to find you've written your worries away.

Drugged and Dangerous

Or more appropriately, UN-drugged and dangerous. Ever since we switched to the My Blue independent health care plan in January, we've had nothing but trouble.  In the 35 years we had Blue Cross Blue Shield group health insurance, we never had a complaint about their service.  In the three months since we've had the independent version, we've had nothing but.

The situation with prescription medications has been the most problematic.  My husband takes two very important medications to control the pain from his peripheral neuropathy.  He's been taking them for over five years, and they were always covered under our group BCBS plan.   When the first medication came up for renewal in February, the My Blue plan would not cover it unless he tried a  different (cheaper) medication for 30 days.  During the weeks they made us wait for this momentous decision, he ran out of the original medication and went into withdrawal symptoms which put him virtually out of commission for nearly a week.  The medication they finally approved not only didn't control his pain symptoms, it made him sick to his stomach.  So for the rest of the month, he felt horrible.   And they've still not "authorized" the original medication.

With this experience under our belt, we started early to get "authorization" for his other medication, which we knew was very expensive.  It also has no equivalent, being the only type of drug in its classification.  But even with advance planning, he still ran out of it and went into withdrawal again.

But those symptoms were nothing compared to the sticker shock he got at the pharmacy.  Even though BCBS finally authorized coverage for this medication, the co-pay on the My Blue account is so much higher that the price tag was nearly $800 for a three month supply.  (For comparison purposes, we were paying $120 for three months with our previous group coverage.)

So now he's faced with the unpleasant prospect of weaning off these medications, which most assuredly will mean constant pain and debilitation, or taking on a second job at McDonald's to pay for them.

Actually, that might not be a bad idea, because he might be able to get group health care coverage at Mickey D's.

So when I heard about Canada Drug Center earlier today, I couldn't wait to click over and take a look around.  I have several friends who order prescription medications from Canadian pharmacies, and now I understand why.  The site is easy to use, they have some great reviews and accreditations, and best of all, their prices on some very expensive drugs are much more affordable.  They stock OTC medications too, at a substantial savings.  Although they only offer one of the medications Jim currently needs, being able to get one of them is better than nothing.  And when my osteoporosis medication comes up for renewal, I'll be bypassing the American pharmacy completely.

I believe that the costs associated with health care, health insurance, and prescription drugs are the most serious problems facing this country in the 21st century.   If something can't be done to contain the costs within these industries, God only know what's going to happen to us.

In the meantime, at least, I'm grateful there's an opportunity for a little relief just across the Canadian border.

Amen, Omar

For those of you following the story of Omar the Car Transport Driver from hell, the saga came to and end today, two weeks later, with the safe delivery of my son's car from Naples, Florida to Frisco, Texas.  Apparently, the car was sitting somewhere in Miami until Thursday, when Omar finally got around to getting his ass act together and driving it to Texas. As of about 1:00 p.m., it was safely berthed in its new garage- "dirty as hell," according to its owner, but otherwise none the worse for wear.

Amen.

Uniformity

If you went to parochial school, as I did, I'm sure you recall your school uniform with great fondness disgust. My high school uniform was the ubiquitous plaid, pleated skirt, with saddle shoes (yes!) and a white blouse.  The only one who kind of liked it was my boyfriend at the time (who is now my husband).  What is it about men and school girls in uniform, anyway? Since then, I've never had to wear a uniform, and that suits me just fine. One of my friends is part of the office staff at a clinic, and they wear medical scrubs to work.  She's just fine with that - says it makes getting dressed for work very easy, not to mention the fact that they're totally comfortable.  Sort of like wearing your pajamas all day.

In contrast, one of my co-workers, who was an ICU nurse before becoming a case manager, said one of the best parts of her career change was being able to toss all those nursing uniform scrubs in the trash and go shopping for some professional clothes.

I actually love wearing medical uniforms - I have a pair that I wear around the house sometimes, and they're great for hanging out on the sofa (like I'm doing now) with a glass of wine and a dish of hummous and pita chips.  They're also pretty good for exercising in - at least the bottoms are.  I still like t-shirts on top because they're softer.

But I'm very happy that my plaid, pleated skirt has been relegated to my mother's basement, where she's kept it all these years as a pleasant reminder of my youth.

Hmmm...maybe I should dig it out and wear it as an anniversary present for my husband?  Whaddya think?