Planting Seeds

Last weekend, during my annual effort to organize my life, I was cleaning out some desk drawers and came across a very old TV remote control.  It was for a Sony television we had back in the late 1970's and early 1980's.  It absolutely pales in comparison to the complicated remotes we use today - the ones that have at least as many functions as an airplane cockpit and look almost as dangerous.  This one is amazingly simple...it has a power button, two volume and two channel controls, and that's it.  Nevertheless, it's called the "Remote Commander," because it does everything the viewer needs it to do - at least it did back in 1980 when we only had five channels. When I found the remote, I burst into tears.  You see, when my son was an infant, this remote control was his favorite object.  It was the only thing that kept him still and quiet during diaper changes, getting dressed, or if I was on the phone.  It's covered with scratches from his sharp baby teeth (yes, I let him put it in his mouth - I was desperate) and dents from banging it against the side of the crib.  He would push the power button and turn the television on and off and on again.  Between the ages of 7 and 13 months, he loved this remote more than any other object in the house.   So I got sad when I looked at it, remembering a time that seemed hectic and crazy then, but in retrospect was really quite idyllic -as hindsight always is.

Anyway, after I got over my little hormonal outburst, I started thinking about this remote in a different way.  From the very beginning of our son's life, it was clear to us that he was completely in love with technology and computers.  By the time he was two years old, I could ask him to program the VCR for me, and he would toddle out to the family room, pick up the remote  ( already a slightly more complicated version) and set it up to record anything I wanted.

In the early 1980's home computers were just becoming available.  He was not quite three years old when we purchased his first computer, a Texas Instruments model that was little more than a game station.   He was six when we bought the huge IBM personal computer where he really cut his teeth on computing.  I've lost count of the number of computers he's had in his lifetime (although I'm sure he could tell me in the blink of an eye, including makes and model numbers.)  Now, 30 years later, computers are an integral part of how he makes his living, and also how he spends much of his free time.

It seems to me that the seeds of our passions are planted in us at birth.  My son's affinity for the remote control, for anything with buttons or anything that controlled some electronic gadget, seemed to emerge around the age of five months, along with his milk teeth.  My love of music, particularly the piano, manifested itself when I was a toddler.   I clearly recall sitting in the baby seat of a grocery cart,  dancing my fingers along  the handle and singing, pretending I was playing the piano.  We didn't have a piano in our house, and to my knowledge I had never heard or seen one except perhaps on television. Nevertheless, I was manic for one and pestered my parents  about it as soon as I could talk, until on my sixth birthday one miraculously appeared in our living room.  I breathed a sigh of relief, as if someone had given water to a thirsty soul.

The scary thing about these seeds is correctly discerning what they are and cultivating them. I'm not around children very often, but if I were I would probably spend a fair amount of time observing them and trying to discover what their passions were and how they could be turned into something meaningful later in life.  I'm fascinated by the whole prospect.

Luckily for me, my parents acknowledged my desire and helped me fulfill it.  I'm hopeful that we did all we could in encouraging our son's obvious passion.  But sometimes I wonder - what if there were other seeds lying dormant that we never knew about?  If we had scratched the surface a little bit, was there perhaps a painter or a doctor or a carpenter buried deep beneath the layers?  My thoughts turn inward, and I wonder about seeds that might have lain fallow in my soul for the last 50 years.  Is it too late to unearth them, start nourishing them, and see if they'll grow?

I'm not much of a gardener - this I know for sure - but it might be interesting to root around in my deepest desires, and see if anything starts blooming.

How about you?  Were the seeds of your passions evident from an early age?  Can you see the seeds of the future in your children?

 

 

R U There?

I'm actually rather proud of the way I've embraced the digital revolution.  Of course, raising a child who seemed born with bytes instead of a brain kind of pulled me into the technological age, whether I wanted to be there or not.  But generally, I've adapted to modern forms of communication with ease. An uneasy typist, I quickly fell in love with word processing and the ability to fix all my typing errors with the flick of a wrist.  No more White-Out, or those ridiculous correction cartridges I once used in the electric typewriter.

E-mail is SO handy, especially for someone like me who finds it a real struggle to call people on the telephone.  Don't ask me why.  Something about interrupting people in the middle of their busy lives when they might be doing something important or interesting just scares me silly.  Using e-mail makes it easy to impart the necessary information which they can then read and respond to at their leisure.

And although I don't like telephones that much, I love my cell phone.  Because I'm also the world's worst worrier, it comforts me to know that the people I care about can contact me no matter where I am (except in the bathroom...I won't answer the phone in the bathroom, even though I've witnessed the fact that some people actually do.)

But it's taking me a bit longer to embrace texting.  One of the biggest problems I have with texting is physically doing it.  You see, I inherited these ugly, fat thumbs from some ancient middle-eastern ancestor - hammerhead thumbs, they're called, and I've determined they can be traced directly from my paternal line.  These obnoxious digits easily cover an entire row of keys on the teeny tiny phone keyboard.  In order to text with any degree of accuracy, I have to press the keys with the tip of my thumbnail.   If I can set the phone down on a flat surface, I do better using my index fingers, like typing on a regular keyboard.  But sometimes it's impossible to do that.  Like the other morning when  I was walking the dogs and trying to answer a text message at the same time - while wearing gloves. It's ridiculous.

Why didn't I just call the person back, you ask?

Good question.

That's the other thing about texting.  I find myself involved in these long text message conversations with people.  They might start out with something as simple as R U there? and then segue into a protracted exchange.   Why in the world don't we just dial each other up and talk on the darn phone?  Isn't that what they were invented for after all?  What would Alexander Graham Bell have to say if he could see all us of trying to write messages on this thing he worked so hard to invent purposely so that we could actually speak to one another?  Once I get started on a text conversation, I find myself  powerless to stop, as if I've been sucked  into this vortex and can't fight my way to solid ground.

Personally, I like to text people just for simple things.  For instance, at the end of the workday, I might text my husband and ask "When will u b home?"

My phone buzzes.  He replies "lving soon."

But then I wonder -am I supposed to respond?  Will he know I got that message?

So I text back -"ok~good."

My phone buzzes again - "will you P-U dogs?"

"Yes" I answer.

Buzzz. "I'll get mail," he replies.

"k" I respond (praying that this will be the end of the conversation).

I wait with baited breath.

Silence.

I breath a sigh of relief and start shutting down my work computer.

Buzzzzzzzz.

"don't 4get 2 stop at the bank."

Fine.  I'm not answering this one.  I hurry up and shove my phone in my purse, hastily get into my coat and gloves, and head out to my car.  I'm just about to put the key in the ignition, when a virulent buzz begins inside my purse.  I pull out the phone and see that I have one new text message from Jim.

"R U there?"

Unmentionables

Today I spent almost $100 on underwear. No doubt some women - such as any of The Real Housewives or Kardashian sisters - spend more than that on one tiny pair of panties.  But for this real housewife, that's a big number to spend on something that will only ever be seen by one man (and two dogs).

This unprecedented purchase was inspired in part by my boss.  Now before you get all weird about that, let me explain that my boss is  (1) a woman about my age;  (2) extremely stylish and well put together; and (3) generous enough to give all of her employees a nice cash bonus for Christmas.

In a small office where every employee is female, style, fashion, and beauty are familiar topics of conversation.  "My mother worked in lingerie at Crowley's (an upscale department store in the Detroit area) and she convinced me of the importance of good foundation garments," my boss said during one of these conversations.  She went on to tell us about shopping at Harp's Lingerie, a classic shop (est. 1947) in downtown Birmingham, Michigan, where women are assigned personal fitters and their measurements kept on file.   "Whenever I'm dressing for a special occasion, I go there," she said.

Without revealing too much, I confess I've always been very utilitarian when it comes to undergarments.  The older I get, the less I care about them.  As long as they provide the three C's-coverage, comfort, and cleanliness - I'm happy.   I don't need them to match or even coordinate top to bottom.  But I've recently lost about 10 pounds, and my clothes are all fitting more nicely, and it occurred to me that it would be fun to have some new undies to wear with my new, improved shape.

So I took some of my Christmas bonus and went to Macy's where they were offering a "buy two get one free" sale.  Before long, I had stocked up on enough new "dainties" to provide a clean pairing for every day of the week. There was quite a little line at the sales register, too.  "Looks like everyone's starting the new year with new underwear!" the sales clerk said.

I have to admit, it's  fun to wear these stylish pieces underneath my everyday jeans and sweater.  I feel secretly glamorous and -dare I say - even sexy.  A small pleasure, surely, but one I've never allowed myself to indulge until now.

Makes me wonder what else I might be missing.

 

 

 

Smiles

Despite it being Monday, it was a happy day, and I didn't even have to work very hard to make it so. Here's what put a smile on my face today ~

First and foremost, the SUN was shining all day.  Sunshine has an amazing effect on my mood - it's like switching on the happy button.  Suddenly I have energy, I'm optimistic, I'm excited to do even the ordinary stuff.  I'm beginning to think I need one of those ultraviolet lights when I'm stuck in the dark winter doldrums.

Secondly, the snow is all gone and the ground is dry.  Which means I was able to walk the dogs today ~ so they were happy too.  Nothing better than a happy dog (unless it's two happy dogs).

Probably as a direct result of  the energy and optimism I get from number one, I was able to get through everything on my to-do list.  And you all know how happy that makes me.

But the best thing today was visiting a dear friend who was hospitalized Friday morning with a serious case of endocarditis (infection in the lining of the heart).  He was greatly improved today, and seemed more like his old self than he had in weeks. That really made me smile.

Smiling and sunshine - two very big mood brighteners for me on this first Monday of 2011.

How about you?  What made you smile today?

 

 

 

 

But Most of All...

Although I don't typically make resolutions, when a brand new year rolls around it's pretty difficult to ignore the impetus of new beginnings, the opportunity to change things, do things differently, make significant improvements in one's personal life and health. Yesterday, Andi posted a list of "Things I Would Like to Do" in 2011.  That sounded good to me ~ certainly there are things I'd like to do with this New Year, but I accept the fact that time and circumstance may not always make it possible.

In that spirit, then, here is my list:

  • Spend less time on the internet and more time reading books and/or articles of substance
  • Spend more time with my friends, which will require me to make more of an effort to connect with people
  • Write more on both my blogs, and focus on writing well
  • Make some positive headway on two writing projects I've had in mind for a few months now
  • Make music more often
  • Learn something new, like the art of creating beautiful handmade cards ( I have several friends who do this, and their cards each holiday season are miniature works of art)
  • Take a yoga class

There's one other very big thing I hope do to in 2011.  You all may not know it, but  I have a melancholy streak a mile wide and it takes an enormous amount of effort to keep that from ruling my life.  Sometimes, the effort becomes nearly overwhelming ~ those are the days I come home and either collapse on the bed, throw things against the wall, or sit in stony silence until I can gather the courage to continue.  So as I put together a list of things I'm hoping to do this year, this tops the list:

.

One of the things I learned in therapy was that happiness is a state of mind.  "You're not happy unless you think you're happy"  says Gretchen Rubin, of The Happiness Project.  So this year I'm making a conscious effort to think about what I need to be happy and trying to make it so.

I'll keep you posted on my progress <smile>

How about you?  What things would you like to do in 2011?  What brings happiness to your life?