Time Tested

Fewer and fewer Americans possess objects that have a patina, old furniture, grandparents’ pots and pans, the used things, warm with generations of human touch, essential to a human landscape. Instead, we have our paper phantoms, transistorized landscapes. A featherweight portable museum.~Susan Sontag

My mother's friend Marie loved antiques - her house was a veritable museum of quilts from the Amish, and glassware from the Depression.  Even her dining room furniture was antique, an old pine table and chairs which, for all its loving refurbishment, still bore the nicks and scars of its ancient and former life.

My mother occasionally went "antiquing" with Marie, the pair of them driving off in Marie's little red Mustang convertible, brightly colored babushka's tied round their freshly done beauty parlor beehives, traveling out into the country to look for estate sales and resale shops.

My grandmother, left behind to babysit for me, would complain vociferously about my mother's forays into the world of antique shopping. 

"I swear," she would grumble, plopping my lunch plate onto the red Formica table in our kitchen, " I don't know why anyone would want that old stuff.  I had enough of old stuff like that when I was growin' up...why I surely don't have any use for it now."

I sat quietly munching my toasted cheese sandwich, not daring to mention that I rather liked "that old stuff." It sent little shivers down my spine to caress the soft patina of Marie's dining room table, knowing that some other child perhaps a hundred years before had touched that very same spot. 

My mother never purchased much on those jaunts.  Occasionally, she'd come back with a piece of glassware - a china pitcher or a teapot.  Once, she brought home an (almost) complete tea service that was said to have belonged to Henry Ford (the first).  I remember fondling those paper thin china cups, imagining Mr. Ford coming home after a day of supervising cars being built, and settling down in his parlor to be served hot tea in this very cup.

I have that tea set now, nestled into a corner of my china cabinet.  The sugar bowl (which was missing its lid when my mother purchased it) is in daily use and sits on my kitchen counter.  There are a handful of "antiques" in my house, and I can tell you the story of each one.  The Nippon china tea set that was a wedding gift to my mother in law from the doctor whose children she babysat.  The pink cookie plate that belonged to my paternal grandmother, a woman I never even met,  but whom everyone tells me I strongly resemble.  The ruby ring which belonged to my Aunt Sally with the date of purchase (1892) engraved inside the band. 

It's the back stories that make these possessions more than just "some old stuff," and give them an essential value and importance, that make them unique to our own personal landscape. 

Although I don't actively seek out antique objects for my home, I rather cherish these few that have fallen into my possession.  They've stood the test of time, and connect me with a small portion of the past. 

I like that.

inspired by Cafe Writing

Small World

When the Imagineers at Disneyland created that Small World ride, I don't imagine they had any concept of just how small the world would one day become. You all know what I'm talking about...email, cell phones, text messaging, Twitter, Facebook, Skype - who could have forseen the multiplicity of ways in which our world would become so embraceable.  Certainly I'm grateful for this miraculous explosion of communication.  It allows me to monitor (forgive me, Brian!) the activity of my only child, who, as we speak, has taken up residence in a country over 10,000 miles away.  So while Brian is on the other side of the world (quite literally) with the right click of a mouse button I can see that he's "online and available to chat," or that, four minutes ago according to Twitter, he was "up early and ready to get to work for the day."

If you're a parent, you know the value of those small touchstones when you're dealing with the well being of your children.  How we must have worried and obsessed in those days before this plethora of instant communication!  But now this ability to keep tabs on everyone we care about has reached epidemic proportions.  Look at the recent explosion in popularity of Facebook.  We can be cyber "friends" with everyone from our old elementary school classmates to our attorneys and financial planners.  It's fun to check  everyone's status during the day, even if it's only to see what Carol is making for dinner, or whether Leigh's baby finally slept through the night.

But it's especially satisfying when it gives you the ability to find out what your kid is up to at any given moment, especially when they're a world away.

So here in the 21st century, the world is definitely smaller, and I believe that's a good thing.  And don't you think that this ability to connect with other human beings makes us more appreciative of each other?  Certainly this renewed interest in the minituae of other's life has to mean more than just purient entertainment.  It has to mean we recognize the value of connecting with one another on ground level, that place where humanity converges irrespective of race, creed, or politics.  That place where the most important things are the love of family and the satisfaction of a life well lived.  Where all that matters is knowing your husband still loves you and your kid is safe.  That place where the world becomes small enough to fit into a terrabyte or on the head of pin.

It is definitely a small world after all.

Life in General

Before The Red Tent, before Good Harbor, before and during six books on contemporary Jewish life, I was a colunist," writes Anita Diamant, in her introduction to Pitching My Tent.  "I wrote essays about friendship and fashion, about marriage and electoral politics, about abortion, lingerie, situation comedies, birth, death, God, country, and my dog.  I covered the waterfront and the supermarket, my synagogue, the waiting room outside the intensive care unit, and my own kitchen table.  My job was to report on the events of the day and the changes under my own roof.  The challenge was to pay closer-than-average attention and then shape my experiences and reactions into entertaining prose that rose above the level of my own navel.  It was more than a great job - it was a meaningful job.

Life in General - that's the subtitle of my other blog, Becca's Byline.  But it's also the underlying theme of most things I write about.  Certainly my life isn't exciting or unique by modern standards.  Mostly it's consumed with family and friendships, work and hobbies, worries and fears about the world around me.  These are the subjects all humans confront every day, the experiences of life in general.

The uniqueness is in what we make of those experiences, how we process the ordinary (and extraordinary!) events of our lives, the individual filter through which we view everything from our most cherished relationships to the process of picking fresh fruit at the market.  That vision becomes the basis of our artistic expression, whether it's with words and music or paint, clay and fabric.

I love reading personal essays, because they provide me with another viewpoint on Life In General, this thing we're all immersed in every day.  Anna Quindlen and Carolyn Knapp are two of my favorite contemporary essayists.  Joyce Carol Oates writes a pretty mean essay, and Anne Fadiman produces some wonderful personal writing about literature and life.   Yes, these are women whose lives might seem richer and more fulfilled than yours and mine.  But it's their witty and insightful reflections on those normal everyday events - walking the dog, making coffee, reading books- which truly help me put my own world into perspective.  See, I tell myself, they have the same problems and needs as I. 

It's this intimate way of expressing our relationship with Life In General that makes blogging such an exciting format.  We have access to sharing life experiences with hundreds of people, and the opportunity to fine tune our self expression in the process.

When it comes to our writing, individual experiences are extremely valuable.  It's not narcissism to value our lives and what we've done with them - it's a way of paying witness to ourselves and to the things which matter.  Becoming attuned to the special value of each passing moment allows us to transmit the details into words and images which in turn become valued by our readers.

"Writing is an act of self-cherishing," writes Julia Cameron.  "We often write most deeply and happily on those areas closest to our heart." 

So tell me, what are the areas closest to your heart?  What aspects of your life in general do you find yourself sharing in writing?  Do you enjoy reading/writing personal essays? Who are some of your favorite essayists?  

Extra Credit (from The Right to Write): In your journal, list 50 things you're proud of about yourself...what does this list tell you about the things you value most?   

It's Me, Becca

Dear God, It's me, Becca. 

I know we don't usually communicate in this fashion, but I've begun to feel as if you aren't listening too closely so I thought I'd try a different tack.

You see, there's a bunch of stuff going on in the world right now that's making me - well, mad.  Really mad.  Mad enough that sometimes I just want to grab you by the shoulders and shake some sense into you.  What's going on with you, anyway?   What's the deal with all these companies going bankrupt, and people losing their jobs right and left, and our retirement savings going down the toilet?  While we're at it, what about all these people with Alzheimer's and cancer?  And the folks who can't afford health care or medicine?  What about all these rich people who just get richer, while the rest of us get poorer? 

Okay, I know I'm luckier than a whole bunch of other folks out there.  But I gotta tell you, it really feels like things just aren't going according to plan these days. 

What's that?  Whose plan?  you ask.

Well, my plan. 

Once upon a time, God, I made some plans for my life. Now, don't laugh...supposedly you gave us all free will, so I thought I was perfectly within my rights to make plans.  I was going to have a nice home in Michigan and a nice home in Florida and travel back and forth between the two.  I was going to have some nice little grandchildren to spoil, and every year take a nice trip or two to some exotic location.  I was going to write some nice books, and maybe belong to a nice musical group or two.

Nice life, huh?

But now it seems like the whole world's going to hell in a handbasket (excuse my language), and my plans are going with it.  I'm kind of wondering what you're doing about it.

I know, I know, "all things work together for good..." - you don't have to remind me - that used to be one of my favorite verses.  I'm here to tell you, God, I'm getting a little bit worried about when the good part is going to get here.

So anyway, if you happen to be surfing the 'net today and run across this post, I wish you'd take some things into consideration.  You know, I've always worked hard to be the kind of person I'm supposed to be, doing unto others and all that.  I don't claim to be perfect at that, but I give it a really good shot.  There's a lot of us down here who try to live by your principles and ideas.  We'd sure like to see that work together for some good in our lives. 

 Now, I'm not trying to tell you how to handle this business of being in charge of the world.  I'm just saying.

I suppose that's it for today.  Sorry for venting, God.  Guess I just need to let off a little steam.  Maybe you feel the same way sometimes.

Thanks for listening.

~Becca

Warm Ups

Music and writing are woven throughout my life like the strands of a double helix, and I often learn things from one discipline which can be applied to the other.  Warm ups, for example.  Singers simply must warm up their vocal chords before a performance, and there is a wide variety of exercises designed to target specific aspects of vocal production.  The high school girls love to do "sirens," a high pitched "woo-oo" sound which gets them singing in their head voice and also relieves a lot of tension, effectively serving as a  (safe!) vocal scream. As a pianist, I need those warm up exercises too, and the older I get the more important they are.  My fingers are literally stiff until I've played for a bit, and my mind needs some time to focus itself on the music, to set aside my worries from the day and hone in on the nuances of those notes in front of me.  If I'm playing a different instrument, the warm up becomes even more important.  What's the key action like?  Is the pedal sticky or loose?  Is the upper register overly bright?  All those things are important to know to avoid being surprised during the actual performance.

In this month's Poets and Writers Magazine, novelist Bret Anthony Johnson writes about the effectiveness of writer's warmups, which, not surprisingly, serve similar purposes for the writer as they do for the musician. Ellis calls them Narrative Calisthenics, and says they transition the writer from the world of daily living into the world of the imagination.

"Writing exercise purges my mind of everything but a concentrated attention to language.  I've forgotten about the leaky faucet or the overdue library book, and most importantly, I've released my fear about starting the morning's writing."

Ah yes, the fear of the blank page.  Sometimes that seems almost insurmountable, doesn't it?  Here are a couple of Johnson's suggestions to get the writing muscles warmed up:

  1. Spend five minutes listing every word you can think of that starts with the letter "a"; tomorrow, use "b"; and so on...
  2. Spend five minutes listing everything you can think of that's the color blue; tomorrow, green, and so on...
  3. Open your dictionary and blindly point to an entry.  Do this until you land on a noun, then spend 10 minutes writing a scene in which that noun figures significantly.

About two years ago, I began doing Morning Pages, as recommended by Julia Cameron (The Artist's Way).  I've found those three pages of stream of consciousness writing each morning to be a useful warm up exercise, a way of "priming the pump" of my imagination.  However, they often become an emotional clearing house for worries and concerns which have little or nothing to do with my writing projects.  I see the value of Johnson's objective writing exercises as a way to sharpen the focus before embarking on whatever writing you're engaged in.

"Writing is one of the most difficult and frightening things anyone chooses to do," Johnson concludes.  "Exercises make the work a little easier and a little less terrifying."

How about you?  Do you do writing exercises or warm ups?  Do you think they could be valuable?  Have you found warm up exercises helpful in some other area of your life, e.g. art, music, athletics?  

Extra Credit: Try one of Johnson's exercises above, and post about your experiences.  Or create an exercise of your own and share it.