I Dare You

It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.             ~Seneca

Or- to put it another way - what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Go skydiving? Become a doctor?  Take up ballroom dancing or acting...hockey or figure skating?

What's your wildest writing dream?  Penning the biggest blockbuster since The DaVinci Code?  or winning the Pulitzer Prize for a finely crafted work of fiction?  And what's stopping you from going after it?

Sitting in my bottom desk drawer are the manuscripts of two short novels completed for NaNoWriMo in 2006 and 2007.  In my more generous moments, I think of them as rather good stories.  More often, I think of all the revision and shaping they would require and am overwhelmed at the difficulty of that task.

So difficult, the task of revising a novel.  Where does one even begin? 

Much too difficult, really.

I don't dare.

Yes, sitting here in my comfortable chair is safe and easy.  But how often has it happened that, once ventured, much is gained.  Where do I find the courage to open that drawer and make a start?  What might happen if I did?

Many questions to consider, many dreams to ponder.

Can you make yours come true?

I dare you to try.

Write on.

The Times They Are A'Changin'

 

Change is afoot in the world, isn't it?  If only it were all this beautiful.

Autumn is my favorite season, and the older I become, the more I love it.  There's certainly a poignancy to it, this spectacular gala nature throws for us just before the earth turns cold and dark for winter.  But somehow that only makes it more lovely, like Cinderella at the ball, racing the stroke of midnight and ekeing every last morsel of glory from the dance.

Just over two years ago, I began writing here at a time of change in my life's cycle.  About to turn 50, I found myself searching for a way to express and challenge myself.  In this chronicle about "life in general and my own in particular,"  I've explored my thoughts about the typical things which occur in the life of an American woman  - relationships with adult children and aging parents, carving out time for one's interests and passions, finding the balance between fulfilling the expectations of others and creating a meaningful life as an individual.  In sharing those thoughts on this forum, I've been fortunate enough to meet a veritable world of talented, inspiring women, each one on a journey of her own, each one looking to learn and share, each one reaching out a hand in solidarity.

Lately, watching mother nature perform her annual metamorphosis, I've been wondering whether it's time for some bigger changes in my life as well.  I feel slightly adrift in my writing life, as if I've lost my focus, my outlook on life in general turning fuzzy and disjointed.  I come to this page quite often, but sit staring at the blank screen not knowing what it is I need to say.

All this by way of saying I'm putting the Byline on hiatus for a bit.  Maybe a couple of weeks, maybe a couple of months.  Maybe the act of publicly stepping back will free the thoughts that seem to have frozen into an early winter.

I'm leaving you with this gorgeous maple, decked out in fullest autumn finery to remind you (and myself) that change can be spectacular.

I'm hoping for that in all our worlds.

Change in Action

Here at the writers roundtable we sometimes talk about the roadblocks to our work which life inevitably places before us.  Mostly, those impediments are emotional or practical.  Occasionally, they're physical.  This week, I've smashed directly into one of those.  I've been working a great deal lately, work that required hours of extra typing, work that has inflamed the poor little tendons in my right wrist causing persistent burning pain. 

So I'm supposed to be "resting" from the keyboard.

While my typing is restricted, my thoughts are roaming free...so hopefully there will be good writing ideas born of this imposed moodling time.  *smiles*

The roundtable discussion will go on, however, and I will offer a quote on writing for you to consider in your own moodling and writing time.  Respond on your blog, in your personal journals, or just here in the comments.

Without further ado, one of my all time favorite mantra's:

Words are a form of action, capable of producing change.

Ingrid Bengis

Write on.

Out of the Darkness

There was no darkness today at Kensington Metropark.  It was a perfect early autumn day, a slight chill in the air mitigated nicely by the noon day sun.  We gathered at the East Boat Launch, about 250 of us, munched on donuts and coffee, listened to a live band play, and heard opening remarks from "Spike," a local disc jockey (one known for his rather wild and off color morning show) who talked about his family's experience with suicide.

Out of the Darkness is a fund raising event sponsored by the American Society for Suicide Prevention.  There's a double meaning to this title - certainly "out of the darkness" refers to the mental reality of people who choose to take their own life, for there is obviously a bleak darkness to their lives which they feel cannot be adequately overcome. 

But an even larger aspect of this event (and this organization) is to relieve the stigma and secrecy associated with suicide, to bring this devastating occurrence "out of the darkness" so people in danger may feel freer to discuss their problems, perhaps preventing them from taking that final step into total darkness.  Not only were we raising money to fund suicide prevention programs in high schools and colleges, our walking put a physical presence on this tragedy, put family names and faces to what many people fear to acknowledge.

I was walking with a group of friends and family in honor of Jeff Druchniak, a young man I met in my days of accompanying high school students.  A brilliant man, a much loved son and older brother, his loss has cut deeply into the hearts of his parents, his brother, his large extended family, and his teachers and friends. 

So we came together on this perfect fall Sunday, the day after his younger brother Brian's wedding, and shared our memories of Jeff as we walked.  There was some sadness, certainly, and lots of regret, for that is something no one who survives a loved one's suicide can escape.  But there was more laughter than I thought, and lots of discussion about yesterday's college games (which Jeff would have entered into lustily).  I think it helped us to be together, and to walk with others of all ages who had lived through the same horrific loss.

I'm glad I was able to be part of this event today...and I thank all those who supported it financially, and with their kind words.  I feel as if we all took some steps out of our own darkness today, and started walking toward a more hopeful future.

Write On Wednesday - Feelin' Groovy

Once upon a time, I was a very good moodler.  Yes, I remember those days with great fondness...dropping my boy at school, driving over to the local mall and doing four or five laps around, stopping at Einstein's for a bagel and coffee, dropping into the Barnes and Noble and perusing the new releases or talking with Karen, the manager about what was hot in the book world.   Two or three days each week, I might spend a few hours at the high school, playing for choir, eating lunch with my friend Pat and the year's "select students" who were allowed to join us in her office.  After Brian started driving, and then moved away, I had even more time for moodling, and I took great advantage of it.  I created a "room of my own," with a specially selected chair that was "just right" (Goldilocks style) and  whiled away a good portion of each day curled up in it, reading or listening to music - maybe even napping. That's the way I remember my mooding days anyway, although it's quite possible that the passage of time has tinted my memory a bit rose colored.  Somehow, I really believe I moved more slowly through life than I do now, for now it seems I'm forever rushing and hurrying, and consquently I'm perpetually tired and worn out.

What does this have to do with writing?

Way back in 1938, Brenda Ueland wrote If You Want to Write,  where she coined the term "moodling" and advised every writer it was important to allow time for your mind to wander, your imagination to drift, so that ideas could gestate in your brain.  People are to quick to "will" themselves to do things - to push through life accomplishing a long list of things on some imposed agenda.

I wonder what she would say if she could see us now? 

 Occasionally these days, I'm able to spend a morning "moodling" - walking the dogs at the park, then tooling over to First Cup where I grab a coffee and sit on their new patio with my book.  It isn't that I'm consciously thinking about writing during that time, but I'm often surprised to have ideas pop into my head on the way home,  or even just neat phrases or descriptions that I try to remember, so I can jot them down somewhere.

I definitely feel that I move through life too fast these days.  My greatest desire (other than world peace and a stable economy) is to find more moodling time.

Then I think I'd be feelin' groovy.

Read more about moodling here.