The Roots of Love (for Poetry Thursday)

I am lost without you~deep down I know this to be true. ~ Though I sometimes try to deny this gospel of my existence you are necessary as air to flame as water to scorched earth as breath to life. ~ Our lives grow together deeply entwined as the roots of our oldest tree. ~ While its branches may reach for the sun toss in the wind lay heavy with summer rain, its true heart lies deep down entrenched, enmeshed never to be moved.

The Poetry Thursday theme was "gumball poetry," so I offer a sweet love poem written for my husband on his last birthday. (I know, kind of corny. You can go ahead and say "awwww...":)

Write On Wednesday-Get It Done

I've got a couple of interesting ideas rolling around in my head, ideas that could evolve into good short stories. The thing is, they've been just rolling around in my head for several months now, and I haven't done a single thing to bring them out and put them onto the page. So what am I waiting for? Why don't I just start writing and get it done? One of the big reasons is motivation. There's much to be said for the power of the deadline. When I partcipated in NaNoWriMo last November, the scimitar of November 30 was hanging heavily over my head - write those 50,000 words by then or you're a loser! Added to that was the personal competition of several of my close blogger friends, making it feel somewhat like a horse race with our fingers pounding the keyboard like Secretariat's hooves on the racetrack. Now, as interesting as those story ideas are, I have so many other things to do - like traveling, and eating out, working and shopping, and writing this blog. There's no reason to hurry ~ I can write those stories anytime at all. But at this rate, that anytime could turn out to be the twelfth of never! The other thing barring the door on these stories is my inner critic. That's the voice that says "Why bother wasting time on those stories? What's the point? No one's ever going to read them." In an essay entitled Calming the Inner Critic and Getting to Work, novelist Allegra Goodman wirtes that "the only way out of this trap is to concentrate on writing itself, for itself. The writer who is enamored of her material forgets all about censoring herself." Goodman also accuses this inner critic of being the writer's number one scapegoat. "There is no better excuse for getting nothing done than to lock yourself in battle with the the famous demons of self-criticism and doubt." In Pen On Fire, Barbara DeMarco Barrett affirms this advice. "Write because you love doing it, because you like how you feel when you write... because the stories you long to tell are important." I would add to that last sentence, "even if only to you." As I learned in completing NaNoWriMo, the momentum of the story carries you forward, and you find you must learn the ending for yourself, even if for no one else. Writing is definitely a challenge, and I need a challenge to myself - get those stories down on paper because they need to be told. Silence the inner critic that urges you to set them aside because they're "not good enough." Here's my challenge to myself, in black and white for all of you to see. I will complete one of those stories by January 31, 2007. I will get it done! How about you? What writing (or other creative project) do you need to get done? And what's holding you back?

Sunday Scribblings-Destination

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Do you know?
Theme Song from the movie "Mahogany", originally recorded by Diana Ross, 1994
~
Last fall, my husband and I purchased new bikes to use at our home in Florida. It's a perfect five mile ride around the perimeter of our gated community, with lots of inland waterways to admire as you're pedaling along, and very little traffic to avoid. We try to get a ride in every morning, and Jim gets the bikes out of the garage while I lock up the house. Then its time for the big decision - where do we go? Basically, you can ride to the end of our street and turn right or left, making a perfect, neatly prescribed circle around the outside of the complex and returning right where we started from. There are no obstacles , no choices about turns, not even any bridges to cross. There's a couple of speed bumps, but it's generally smooth sailing - a real no-brainer of a ride.
However, you can also ride through the interior of the community, which becomes a veritable maze of curving streets, glittering ponds, and arched bridges, requiring fancy gear shifting on the bridges, sharp braking on the downhills, and directional decisions all along the way in order to ever find your way back home.
Jim will usually say, "I don't care which way we go. You pick." Those of you who know me can probably guess what my first inclination would be - the safe route, with no chance of getting lost, no challenges to face, just easy riding. Lately, though, there's been a nagging little voice inside urging me to take the more adventurous way, the "road less traveled" as it were. My husband, gentle encourager that he is, will sometimes save me from the decision and say, "Why don't we try riding toward the Town Center?" which takes us on the path into the unknown. And I'm game to follow his lead, nimbly shifting into lower gear on the uphill bridges, flying down on the opposite side and whirling into a sharp turn at the bottom. We've gotten lost a time or two, requiring us to stop, take stock, and then venture bravely toward the way we think we should be going. So far, we've always landed safe and sound at our original destination.
Generally, I like "knowing where I'm going to." I've traveled through life on well traveled routes that have taken me toward safe destinations with a minimum of challenge or risk. But I have to admit that sometimes I don't "like the things that life is showing me." My choice of destinations, while safe and secure, can be - dare I say? - boring. Maybe the destinations for the next part of my life's journey should be a little less predictable, a little more out of the way. Perhaps I shouldn't be quite so afraid to head down the opposite side of the road, where adventure might await. After all, I have become quite fond of flying down those bridges, full speed ahead.
here's the destination for more sunday scribblings

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

By the time you read this, I'll be headed south to visit my son and daughter-in-law. It's been about three months since I've seen them, and though we talk often and stay updated through our respective blogs, it's not the same as being with them.
My son left home fairly young - he was just 18 when he moved to Orlando to go to college back in 1998, and he's not lived at home again since. As most mothers can attest, those first few "empty nest" months are horrible. Lucky me, I was able to make frequent trips to Orlando to visit. Gradually, I got used to having him far away, and spending holidays apart - I can't say I like it, but I've grown accustomed to it. And now, there's not only just my son to miss, but my daughter in law as well, who quickly won all our hearts with her gentle nature and loving ways.
My husband and I have always lived near our parents, and it never occurred to us to move far away from home. We're both only children, and possibly that's why we felt (and still feel) an extra burden of responsibility regarding our parents. So we chose our first home to be near our parents, and we've stayed here, mostly to remain near them. And now that they're older, their need for us is more acute than ever.
We bought our second home, the one in Florida, to be near our children, thinking that perhaps we might retire there someday in the not too distant future. But things change. My son and daughter in law are very young themselves. They're making new decisions about their lives, which is as it should be. Their careers allow them to the flexibility to work anywhere in the world, and they should take full advantage of that opportunity.
Along with many of our friends, we're at an awkward stage in our lives. Not quite ready to retire, but tired of working. No longer responsible for children, yet caring for elderly parents. Not as healthy as we once were, and starting to feel the pull of time to enjoy life while we still can. Longing for change, and not quite knowing how to make it happen. But there's one decision we have made. Our next home will be where we want it to be ~ don't know where that is, just yet, but we'll be looking.
Meanwhile, I'm winging my way to the Sunshine State. I'm ready for some rest, relaxation, and some quality time with my family.
PostScript: As I think about visiting my son, I am reminded again of Darlene and her son Mark. Darlene has been visiting Mark in ICU for the past week, as he struggles valiantly to recover from injuries sustained in a horrible car accident. Every day my thoughts are with her, Mark, and her family.