Baby Blue Skies

I expected to be sad when I came home from my visit with The Fabulous Mr. Connor. But you know what?

I’m not.

Oh, I miss him, that’s for sure. I miss hearing his little squeals at 6:30 in the morning. I miss hearing the Fisher-Price Jumparoo songs (We all love to play with you...on...the...faaarrrm!) I miss seeing his shy little grin, and feeling his velvety soft cheek, and getting drooly kisses. I miss lying on the floor beside him and reading Everywhere Babies.  I even miss those sharp little teeth sinking into my knuckle when he gets an uncontrollable urge to chew.

Sigh.

But there is no way that any feelings of sadness can have anything to do with that baby boy.

He is simply too full of happiness and light and everything that is positive about life.

His parents adore him and take wonderful care of him.

He obviously loves them both to distraction.

He is healthy, and happy, and smart as a tack.

And even though I wish wish wish I could partake of his Fabulousness every day, I am just so happy about his existence in this world that I can’t even be sad about living 1500 miles away.

Sometimes we all need tangible reminders that there is hope for the future, that life can hold pleasant surprises, that small moments of wonder exist and can eradicate all the dark times.

Connor is all that and more for me.

As it says on the shirt he’s wearing in this vide0 - he is my Hero.

And he is just Too Fabulous for Words.

How about you? Do you have a Hero - someone that makes you happy about life in general?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h1WK-WoGUy8]

Waking Up

After waking up at 3:30 a.m., tossing and turning for about 30 minutes whilst cursing myself for not taking the melatonin my daughter in law gave me, I surrendered and crawled out of bed. Taking my book from the bedside table I made my customary buttered toast and wide-awake-at-four a.m. cup of hot cocoa. I read the book for a while, then succumbed to the internet’s siren call.

While making the rounds of some favorite bloggers, I came across this post by Melissa Sarno, a young woman of uncommonly delicate perceptions and thoughtfulness. She writes about her upcoming 10 year college reunion and reflects upon the sense of time passages, the way traveling though life sometimes seems- at least in retrospect- to be as effortless and mindless as climbing a flight of stairs.

In the comments, readers were talking about where they had been in life 10 years ago. Mostly younger people than I, their past 10 years included major life changes - relationship changes, children, career building. This was my comment:

Ten years ago, my life was pretty much the same as it is right now.

Hmm.

Funny thing is, I’m not sure exactly how to feel about that. As a person who really rather abhors change, the sameness of the past decade could definitely be viewed as a positive thing.

But as a person who also fears entrophy, the thought of being so stagnant is almost equally distressing.

Perhaps that’s why I’m feeling some sense of urgency about our potential move to a new home. As difficult as that will be, it feels like time to stop standing at the foot of the staircase and start climbing.

Thanks, Melissa, for the early morning wake up call.

How about you? What was your life like 10 years ago? Has it changed significantly? 

weekending

two days of savoring milky babies breath and drool moistened kissesenjoying squeals of delight wrapping my arms around the solid weight of promise and perfection babies are so lovely they have a way of making everything else seem trivial just by the virtue of their existence for what could be more important than reading, playing, feeding, napping, cuddling, rocking with this baby?

Checking In

We flew into Dallas on Wednesday for a five day visit with our son, daughter-in-law, and the Fabulous Mr. Connor. We call him that because he is the most fabulous of babies (although as I write this, it's 6 p.m. and he's crying up quite a storm -I do remember there was something about 6 p.m. that's made it an evil hour for babies). But 99% of the time, he's cool as a cucumber. Patient, cheerful, cooperative - a good eater and a good sleeper. What more can anyone ask?

I did not bring a computer with me, other than my iPad, but I've been participating in the 25 Habits of Great Writers that Jeff Goins is hosting, and my daily posts are over at Write on Wednesday. For writer friends, it's an interesting and inspiring exercise. Give it a look.

Otherwise, you probably won't see much of me until next week.

I'm just soaking up baby right now.

When I get home, I've decided my summer wardrobe really needs updating. Even though I'm working mostly from home, I'm tired of feeling dowdy. Despite my best efforts to the contrary, photos from the weekend indicate my appearance is leaning much more toward the the look of middle-aged matron than I'd like. Grandmother I may be, but I don't have to look like one. Perhaps I'll even look into some seamless shape wear, although it would take the best bra around to make anything much of my figure these days.

Oh well. Hopefully, Connor will love me no matter what.

Happy weekending.

Bedside Manners

The state of health care in the US is one of my biggest concerns about the future. There are so many problems with unrealistic costs for medical care, with uneven coverage, with overly prescribed  medications and tests...I have no idea how this system can ever be fixed. I don't know much about socialized medicine and I'm sure there are many problems with that too. I just know things have to change somehow, because it can't go on the way it currently is.

I stumbled across an interesting website dedicated to medical teaching course in the UK. These are designed to provide physicians and other levels of medical personnel with teaching techniques -actually a teach the teacher course. Additionally, there was a medical management course to provide the business type skills physicians need to manage their practices, and a consultant interview course for training in presenting your best face at an interview.

Whether or not we have these types of courses in the US, it seems important to recognize that the medical profession has become more business oriented than service oriented. More and more often I hear of people being denied medical care because their insurance companies won't cover the cost. My cousin is a case in a point- a young man in his 30's who requires an intricate bone transplant, but was forced to wait for 12 months because he had exceeded his benefits. These are 12 months he must remain in pain and out of work because he wasn't able to have the surgery at an opportune time.

People here express fears about "death panels" that might arise under some of the new health care bills. Believe me, they're already here. They masquerade as health insurance companies, who really dictate almost everything about your medical care. That is, unless you're independently wealthy and can afford to pay for prestigious "concierge care" - in essence, a personal physician who is at your beck and call.

Where all this will end really frightens me. I wish that something as simple as medical teaching courses could be a solution.

But I'm afraid it will require something much more drastic than that.