Upheaval

In the wake of today's horrible earthquake in Japan, it seems extremely frivolous to talk/write/think about anything else.  As the world becomes smaller, and our friendships expand into ever widening swaths, we become more cognizant of our common humanity and thus affected more deeply in times of tragedy.  I think of my daughter in law, who, for the past 11 years, has lived halfway around the world from her family in Thailand.  During that time, there have been floods, political revolutions, and yes, a devastating tsunami.  I think of my friends, who will soon leave for a three year sojourn in China, not knowing what events will occur in the world around them. We spread all over the world these days, globalizing our economies, our culture, our relationships.  We leave families and friends behind, embrace new lifestyles, new friendships.  Yet no matter where we're from or where we travel, our needs are essentially the same - the safety and comfort of home, and the love of family and friends.  When those are threatened or taken from us, whether by natural disaster, the whims of fate, or the ravages of time, we ache.  We grieve.  We mourn.

To paraphrase an old saying - we are far, but yet so near.  Near in heart and mind are the people of Japan, and all those who love them.

Another Year Older

Last week while we were on my annual Florida idyll, my friend M. and I hit the movie theater several times.  Neither one of us every goes to the movies at home, citing lack of time.  Generally I'm happy to wait for the DVD release so I can curl up on the couch and watch the film in my jammies. But when you're faced with six lovely days to fill, we figured we had  time to spend catching up on the shows. After all, there's only so much Florida sunshine a girl can take, right?

We went to three films, at three different cineplex.  There are some very nice movie theaters in Naples, particularly The Silver Spot, where you choose your own seat when you purchase the ticket, a huge brown leather armchair complete with cupholder and footrest.

Tickets are a little pricey in Naples, as is most everything else in this resort town which caters to older, wealthy Floridians.  Matinee tickets range from $7.50 to $10.50, which seems like a lot to me, since I remember going to lots of $2.50 movies back here in "the D."  Of course, that was in the olden days, when I was young.

My friend is a bona fide senior citizen, although she hardly looks or acts the part of a mid-septagenarian. But she happily asks for the senior ticket at the box office, although it doesn't buy her much of a discount in Naples where the richest people actually are the senior citizens.

Usually I buy the regular adult ticket.  I'm still seven years (and one day) away from the official, government sanctioned version of the designation.  So I'm always my usual kosher self, and play by the rules.

The other day though, I tried an experiment, although I was immediately sorry about it.

We were at the Regal Cinemas to see The Adjustment Bureau.  It was a cloudy Sunday afternoon, so lots of people had turned out to see the latest Matt Damon release.  Tickets here were relatively cheap - $7.50 for seniors, and $8.50 for adults.  I stood in line behind M., who purchased her $7.50 senior ticket and walked into the theater ahead of me.

I walked up to the ticket window and requested "One, for The Adjustment Bureau."

"That will be "$7.50," he told me, barely glancing at me as he pushed my paper ticket under the window ledge of the box office.

He gave me the senior ticket without asking.

He took one look at me and just gave me the senior ticket.

S*#!.

I'm wasn't really surprised.  I feel tired and old lately, so I'm sure I look it, too.  I had done my hair that day, although the still breeze that's always blowing off the Gulf continues to wreak havoc with my thick wavy locks.  I was wearing makeup, and dressed decently.  I know I shouldn't care whether a teenager thinks I'm old enough to be his grandmother - which I am NOT, by the way.

But still.  S*#!.

Tomorrow is my birthday, and until the last five years, I've never minded being another year older.  Of course as a kid, I couldn't wait for it - wanted to grow up and be an adult just as fast as I possibly could.  And most of the time, being an adult is just fine and dandy.  But sometimes, I'd prefer not to be quite so much of one.

I might like to hold onto my "youth" for just a while longer, even if it costs me an extra dollar at the movies.

On the Wheel

Our week here in southern Florida is over, so I'm preparing myself for the familiar re-entry process - getting out of relaxation mode and back onto the hamster wheel otherwise known as daily life.  I should be accustomed to that by now - after all, we flit back and forth every four to six weeks, so every winter is rather like an extended schizophrenic episode ~ warm breezes/beach walks ~ frigid winds/slippery sidewalks. But I'm flummoxed every time, and it's probably because I'm still not sure exactly which lifestyle is the right one for me.  I mean, somewhere in between the endless unplanned hours of the past week and the obligation filled days of the weeks ahead of me, lies the lifestyle I'm looking for.

How often do we get to choose the life we want? The one with just the perfect balance of time for our own pursuits and time spent in doing things we have to do?  The perfect balance between work and leisure?

I know it's unrealistic to expect that everyday life can be the perfect mix of work and play - at least not every day.  It's when ones life is completely out of balance (either way) that the trouble sets in.  My Facebook status last night echoed the hamster wheel concept, and a comment from one of my very clever friends said, "Life has to be about more than squeak, squeak, squeak..."

She's so right.  We all need productive work or at least productive pastimes.  We all need something to goad us into getting out of bed in the morning.  But we also need time to rest, to play, to simply be with ourselves for company.  I'm convinced that a happy life has all of those elements, and that each individual needs them in completely different measure.  Goldilocks had the concept down pat -the porridge must not be too hot, or too cold, but just right.

So as I start sprinting on my little wheel, here's hoping I can find the "just right"  balance for the days ahead.

Social Networking, Part Two

Although it's been quiet here on the blog-front, I've actually been rather pre-occupied this week doing more  "social networking."  My friend M. and I are spending our annual "girls week" in Florida, a tradition we started eight years ago, and one that has become sacrosanct for both of us. What do we do?  Mostly what you'd expect two ladies of a certain age to do when left alone in a resort town.  We eat, we drink, we sit in the sun, we read,  we shop, we go to the movies.

We talk.

Yesterday, we saw The King's Speech - first time for M., second time for me.  I don't see a lot of movies, and  I rarely watch a movie twice in the same season, but I was happy to attend a repeat viewing on this one. It was a stellar film in all respects, and won well-deserved awards.

Today, after a lovely lunch and some shopping, we saw The Black Swan.  Hmm.  That was a horse of a different color.  Natalie Portman was astounding in her role of the psychopathic ballerina.  Her self destructive behavior and its psychological basis was eerily reminiscent of a young woman I'm acquainted with in real life (although not yet to that extreme, thank goodness).  It was definitely not the "feel good" kind of film that M. and I usually gravitate toward - but we both agreed we were glad to have seen it.

We had dinner tonight at Patric's, a local restaurant that has instituted a tapas style menu in a cozy dining room, complete with entertainment- tonight, it was 1940's showtunes played on a vintage upright piano. The small plates were perfect for the two of us, neither of whom are big eaters.  After dinner, M. did quite a bit of shopping in a little boutique called Just 4 Dolls, which featured a huge selection of outfits and accessories for American Girl dolls.  Believe me, her granddaughter's new American Girl will be dressed to the "nines".

On the docket for the days ahead - an art fair, a choral concert, people watching in downtown Naples.  The weather has been more than cooperative, with the sunshine and balmy breezes that make Florida such a popular destination for winter weary mid-westerners.

It's a good tradition we started those years ago.  I'm glad we've had another year to continue it.

How about you?  Do you have any special traditions with your social network?

Social Network

If you visit here very often, you've probably guessed that I'm something of an introvert, happy with just me, myself, and I for company. I reach out to people most often through words on this space, and recently, on that most ubiquitous of social networks, Facebook.  It takes an effort for me to initiate social contact, and so, in a life that sometimes seems overloaded with things requiring effort, I allow my social life to languish. Yesterday was a marked change in that usualness, a day brim full with unexpected social networking.  Early in the day, I met two long-time blogging friends for lunch.  In the five years that I've been blogging, this was the first time I had ever met any member of that particular network face-to-face.  It was such a delight, to hear the real voices of these two women whose writerly voices have whispered in my ear so often.  We talked about blogging, how we came to it, why we continue with it (or not).  We talked about life in general, our own lives in particular.  We finished each other's sentences on occasion, and exclaimed in resounding recognition of each other's feelings.  "Me too!" and "Yes, I know!" were frequently heard throughout the conversation.

And then last night two friends from church came to the house, friends who have just returned from China where they picked the place they will live for the next three years.  I wrote about them here, this adventure on which they are about to embark, and how filled with awe I am at the thought of making such a major change in lifestyle at our age.  Although I'm saddened by their departure from our little circle of friends,  I am emboldened by their courage and their willingness to embrace a new challenge.  Their social network is about to be turned completely on its head, and will doubtless expand in a myriad of unimaginable ways.

At lunch yesterday, we talked a bit about one's circle of friends, and how the social network tends to shrink with the years.  I've seen that happen with my mother, how as she has lost one friend and relative after another, she's had no means of replacing them, so her entire social life revolves around us and one neighbor.  The older we get, the greater the effort it is to keep the network healthy and vibrant.

But I'm beginning to realize how important it is to make that effort, especially for people whose family is miniscule.  While it's easy for an introvert like me to stay inside the safe shell of my comfort zone, it can also be lonely, a loneliness that I don't always recognize, but which may manifest itself in other ways.

It's not always easy to make new relationships.  The internet provides one avenue down which to explore, a place to meet other like minded people from all over the world.  It's a miraculous thing - but it's also a little bit dangerous, especially for someone who finds it easier to remain tucked away in a little cubbyhole.  Because as fascinating and easy as it is to develop a relationship of sorts online, it is ever so much more satisfying to share that relationship through personal contact.  I realized that yesterday afternoon, communing with my friends over Sacher torte and big mugs of coffee, and last night, sipping wine and looking at photos of some other friends new home in China.

Today, I'm back in my easy chair, surfing the internet, Magic and Molly my only companions.  But it's good to know my social network extends beyond the realm of this room and this computer screen, and into the wider world where it belongs.

How about you?  What's your social network like?