Life in General

Silence Is Golden

The world is such a noisy place, isn't it?  Cacophonous, really, with cell phones ringing, televisions and radio's blaring, cars engines surging, road crews pounding, weedwhackers buzzing...incessant.  Talking heads every which way we turn.   It seems as if we're afraid of quiet, as if we won't be able to survive even a few moments in the dentist's waiting room without the latest episode of Oprah to keep us company. And I haven't even mentioned the riotous inner voices, the ones that crescendo in your head - the long to-do lists, the nagging worries about family and friends, concerns about money and health and the state of the world, the anger at those 10 pounds you can't seem to lose - noisy reminders that life is so much less than we'd like it to be.

When my son was small, he created a series of cartoon characters called the Knight Enforcers, whose mission was to abolish all unwanted noise throughout the world.  They'd careen around town in their specially equipped vehicle, looking for babies crying too loudly (his personal pet peeve), construction workers with hyrdaulic drills, and any other poor unsuspecting creature disturbing their sense of aural peace.

Very often, I wish I could call out the Knight Enforcers.

In this month's print issue of More magazine, Katy Butler writes about attending a six-day silent retreat at Spirit Rock, a Buddhist center in Northern California.  Although I often feel myself a victim of noise fatigue, there's also a part of me that feels slightly terrified at the thought of imposed silence, and six days of it...well, frankly, I can't even imagine it. 

However, Butler makes it sound quite appealing.  "By day three," she writes, "my inner state has changed.  The neurotic voices get quieter, then disappear altogether.  My neck ache goes away.  My thoughts meander along, rather than speeding by like cars in a city tunnel.  Some unknown source gives me the energy to sit upright, totally relaxed and silent.  I realize that although I may not control the details of my life, I can control my peace of mind if I choose to."

It's not likely that I'll be attending a silent retreat anytime soon, so I'm looking for ways to gain some of the benefits of silence in my daily life, an antidote to that ever present voice in my head telling me what I should be doing, not to mention the noises imposed so rudely upon me by modern society.  Could it be as simple as taking a few minutes every morning and tuning in to the deeper sounds of my soul?

Perhaps.  Butler refers to a book entitled Happiness Is an Inside Job,by Sylvia Boorstein, who writes that silence "doesn't have to be something holy and elaborate, like a spiritual practice, but just a little me time.  Silence is not self-centered.  It simply counteracts the fact that women, stereotypically at least, are taught to listen not to themselves but to the demands of their community."

Boy, do I know about that.  And those demands, many of which are never even spoken aloud, are just as vociferous as if they were a chorus of noisy jackhammers pounding in my mind's ear.

The remedy?

Spending 5 or 10 minutes each morning, before turning to book or even morning pages journal, sitting quietly with my coffee cup enjoying the rich aroma wafting over the rim.  Eating a meal in silence, savoring each bite, noticing the tastes and textures that pass my lips.  Unplugging for a part of each day - switching off cell phone and radio and computer.  In time, consider expanding these episodes of quiet time into an entire morning, day, or even weekend.

I think I'll give it a try.  At least until the Knight Enforcers get here.

Saying Something Nice

Lesson from my mother (Number 103): if you can't say something nice, don't say anything. That's why you haven't heard from me lately.

Nothing nice to say.

However...

A couple of nice somethings...

Last night, a phone call from a young man who's getting married in October, a young man who lost his only brother to suicide two years ago, a young man who has found his love (his girl Jessie) and his passion (pursuing a PhD in history), a young man who asked me to play piano at his wedding.

Smiling.

Tonight, dinner with my friend Pat, and seeing the movie Mamma Mia, the happiest, most uplifting, energizing, feel-good movie I've ever seen. 

"You'll smile all the way through," Pat told me, knowing how much I needed to smile.

She was right.

She usually is.

So, I'm saying something nice, right from the movie...

I have a dream, a song to sing

To help me cope with anything

If you see the wonder of a fairy tale

You can take the future even if you fail

I believe in angels

Something good in everything I see

I believe in angels, when I know the time is right for me

I'll cross the stream,

I have a dream.

 

Sweet dreams.

 

The World At Work

In the blog world, I often read about the way in which the "universe moves" to point you in the direction you need to be.  My mother would call it coincidence.  I like to use the term serendipity. 

Whatever term you use, it happened just this morning, and now my thoughts are in an excited little whirl.

You see, I've been feeling in a huge rut for the past few weeks, stuck on a boring treadmill with nothing to look forward to.  My writing was feeling the effects of this condition, and I've been toying with the idea of just packing it all in and giving up.

But I've also been thinking that perhaps it was time to move on to the next level with writing. Take a class, or go to a workshop, do something to propel myself out of the writing rut.

So I'm mulling this over in my mind during our walk at the park.  Afterwards, I decide to stop by my favorite coffee house for the customary mid-morning brew.

Lo and behold, I spy a sign on the door:

First Cup Writer's Group

Open to all fledgling writers who'd like to improve their work and talk about writing. 

Bring two or three pages of something you'd like to share.

We'll also be discussing Elmore Leonard's 10 Rules of Writing.

Sunday, August 10, 2008, at 2:30.

 

Well, if that's not the universe at work, I don't know what is.

Except for this, which I clicked on immediately after I got home.

Roseanne, over at Firefly Nights, honored me with a lovely award, which I greatly appreciate.  But it was the words she used to describe the Byline that really filled my heart with encouragement.

"Becca is a very talented writer and an avid reader.  If you’re looking for a lot of silly fluff, don’t even bother to visit.  But, if you like a writer who can weave a fictional story out of a few key words and someone with a lot of life experience who writes about family issues and problems we can all relate to, Becca is the blogger for you."

Coincidence, serendipity, or the universe at work...two relatively small incidents in the larger scheme of life, but able to provide a much needed dose of encouragment to my sagging spirit.

How about you?  Has the universe moved for you lately? 

 

Stay Eager

Do stuff.  Be clenched, curious.  Not waiting for inspiration's shove or society's kiss on your forehead.  Pay attention.  It's all about paying attention.  Attention is vitality.  It connects you with others.  It makes you eager.  Stay eager.    ~Susan Sontag

I should know better than to title a post with the day of the week...then everytime I look at my blog, I'm reminded how long it's been since I've written anything.

But I also remind myself that writing is not an obligation to be dreaded like grocery shopping, or paying bills, or weeding the garden.  It's the way I honor my observations about life in general (and my own in particular), the way I make sense of a sometimes senseless world, the way I connect with friends all over cyberspace.

It's the way I pay attention.

But I've been a bit attention deficit lately, not paying attention to the bracing aroma of my morning coffee, or the symphony of birdcalls that greet me on the back porch each morning as I take the first sip. Not paying attention to Magic and Molly's exuberant greeting when I return home from work. 

And I haven't been doing stuff  either.   Haven't been riding my bike along the avenue of smooth new blacktopped roads running through our neighborhood.  Haven't been talking with friends over drinks at our favorite outdoor cafe.  Haven't been playing piano for any singers anxious to rehearse. 

So I'm neither vital nor eager.

Eagerness - it's that "on your mark, get set, go!" kind of feeling.  The "can't wait to get started" butterflies in your heart, the chomping at the bit, hooves pawing the ground urgency. 

 I vaguely remember it...

Do you?

A young woman whose work I greatly admire has an inspirational project afloat in the blog world.  It's called Be Brave, and it challenges participants to "do one thing each day that scares you."  One thing about which you would normally shy away, procrastinate, or say "Oh, I couldn't..."

In addition to Being Brave, perhaps we should add Stay Eager to our list of personal challenges. Pay attention to the things that exicte us, and find new things when old familiar ones begin to pale. 

I'll be on the lookout for some.

I'll keep you posted.

So, how about you? Have you been Paying Attention?  How do you Stay Eager?