Life in General

Sunday Scribblings-Destination

Do you know where you're going to?
Do you like the things that life is showing you?
Do you know?
Theme Song from the movie "Mahogany", originally recorded by Diana Ross, 1994
~
Last fall, my husband and I purchased new bikes to use at our home in Florida. It's a perfect five mile ride around the perimeter of our gated community, with lots of inland waterways to admire as you're pedaling along, and very little traffic to avoid. We try to get a ride in every morning, and Jim gets the bikes out of the garage while I lock up the house. Then its time for the big decision - where do we go? Basically, you can ride to the end of our street and turn right or left, making a perfect, neatly prescribed circle around the outside of the complex and returning right where we started from. There are no obstacles , no choices about turns, not even any bridges to cross. There's a couple of speed bumps, but it's generally smooth sailing - a real no-brainer of a ride.
However, you can also ride through the interior of the community, which becomes a veritable maze of curving streets, glittering ponds, and arched bridges, requiring fancy gear shifting on the bridges, sharp braking on the downhills, and directional decisions all along the way in order to ever find your way back home.
Jim will usually say, "I don't care which way we go. You pick." Those of you who know me can probably guess what my first inclination would be - the safe route, with no chance of getting lost, no challenges to face, just easy riding. Lately, though, there's been a nagging little voice inside urging me to take the more adventurous way, the "road less traveled" as it were. My husband, gentle encourager that he is, will sometimes save me from the decision and say, "Why don't we try riding toward the Town Center?" which takes us on the path into the unknown. And I'm game to follow his lead, nimbly shifting into lower gear on the uphill bridges, flying down on the opposite side and whirling into a sharp turn at the bottom. We've gotten lost a time or two, requiring us to stop, take stock, and then venture bravely toward the way we think we should be going. So far, we've always landed safe and sound at our original destination.
Generally, I like "knowing where I'm going to." I've traveled through life on well traveled routes that have taken me toward safe destinations with a minimum of challenge or risk. But I have to admit that sometimes I don't "like the things that life is showing me." My choice of destinations, while safe and secure, can be - dare I say? - boring. Maybe the destinations for the next part of my life's journey should be a little less predictable, a little more out of the way. Perhaps I shouldn't be quite so afraid to head down the opposite side of the road, where adventure might await. After all, I have become quite fond of flying down those bridges, full speed ahead.
here's the destination for more sunday scribblings

Leavin' On A Jet Plane

By the time you read this, I'll be headed south to visit my son and daughter-in-law. It's been about three months since I've seen them, and though we talk often and stay updated through our respective blogs, it's not the same as being with them.
My son left home fairly young - he was just 18 when he moved to Orlando to go to college back in 1998, and he's not lived at home again since. As most mothers can attest, those first few "empty nest" months are horrible. Lucky me, I was able to make frequent trips to Orlando to visit. Gradually, I got used to having him far away, and spending holidays apart - I can't say I like it, but I've grown accustomed to it. And now, there's not only just my son to miss, but my daughter in law as well, who quickly won all our hearts with her gentle nature and loving ways.
My husband and I have always lived near our parents, and it never occurred to us to move far away from home. We're both only children, and possibly that's why we felt (and still feel) an extra burden of responsibility regarding our parents. So we chose our first home to be near our parents, and we've stayed here, mostly to remain near them. And now that they're older, their need for us is more acute than ever.
We bought our second home, the one in Florida, to be near our children, thinking that perhaps we might retire there someday in the not too distant future. But things change. My son and daughter in law are very young themselves. They're making new decisions about their lives, which is as it should be. Their careers allow them to the flexibility to work anywhere in the world, and they should take full advantage of that opportunity.
Along with many of our friends, we're at an awkward stage in our lives. Not quite ready to retire, but tired of working. No longer responsible for children, yet caring for elderly parents. Not as healthy as we once were, and starting to feel the pull of time to enjoy life while we still can. Longing for change, and not quite knowing how to make it happen. But there's one decision we have made. Our next home will be where we want it to be ~ don't know where that is, just yet, but we'll be looking.
Meanwhile, I'm winging my way to the Sunshine State. I'm ready for some rest, relaxation, and some quality time with my family.
PostScript: As I think about visiting my son, I am reminded again of Darlene and her son Mark. Darlene has been visiting Mark in ICU for the past week, as he struggles valiantly to recover from injuries sustained in a horrible car accident. Every day my thoughts are with her, Mark, and her family.

Sunday Scribblings-Change

I don't watch much daytime television, but I love to watch the Oprah show when she features makeovers. I get crazy excited to see ordinary, frumpy people with outdated hairstyles and clothing become miraculously transformed into attractive, chic, confident looking men and women. There was once a 60-something grandmotherly type who hadn't cut her long grey hair in about 30 years. When she walked through those curtains wearing a stylish bob, close fitting jeans, a cute beaded jacket and boots, I actually burst into tears. It's my secret wish - well, its not secret now - to be on one those makeover shows. I want to be changed, at least on the outside. It's not that I'm really unhappy with the way I look. I try to keep up with the style trends, and I can wear most of the new fashions without looking ridiculous. My weight is about normal for my height, and people always tell me I look younger than my age. But there's something extremely appealing about being made to look so different ( i.e. beautiful, stunning, glamourous) that my own mother barely recognizes me!

Now that I think about it, perhaps this desire for a metamorphosis is more than just superficial. Could it be that I'm longing for changes that go deeper than hair, eyeshadow and lip gloss? Am I really looking for something to jump start my life, not just my appearance? Hmm, could be. I know that beauty is really only skin deep, and lasting radiance can't be applied from a jar. It comes from satisfaction with your relationships, excitement about your work, and positive expectations about your future. And, in all honesty, I haven't had any of those things in abundance recently.

So maybe I should really be thinking about ways to makeover my life instead of just my looks? Perhaps I should be making the kinds of changes that don't wash off in the shower or get ruined by a windy day. Changes that would result in an inner glow of confidence and satisfaction that create lasting beauty no matter what your hairstyle or wardrobe is like.

Oprah, are you listening?

That's A Wrap

They came from all over the country - New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Washington DC - as well as from just around the corner. Literally hundreds of young men and women, between 19 and 35 years of age. They are singers, actors, politicians, restaurant mangagers, firefighters, teachers, parents. But last night, on the stage of their high school auditorium, they were all students once again, gathererd to honor their music teacher at her last concert. My friend Pat directed her final concert last night, at the school where she has taught music and acting for the past 19 years. A long standing tradition at these holiday concerts is the singing of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus, for which any alumni in the audience are invited on stage to join in. Last night, the huge auditorium stage could barely hold all the singers, some of whom led their own children by the hand to be part of the event. There could have been no greater gift for her than to see all these "kids"- men and women now, pursuing their dreams just as she encouraged them to do.

Some people have a gift for inspiration, and Pat is definitely one of them. She has some magic way of prodding her students to give their best, try their hardest, take risks and accept consequences, and mostly to enjoy every experience of life to the fullest.

This gift isn't offered to just her students, however. When I started working as her accompanist 14 years ago, I was insulated in my own small world of being a stay-at-home wife and mother. I had let my music skills languish, hampered by a fear of performing. Within three months, I had played for her choir at a standing room only Christmas concert, and on stage at the University of Michigan. At the end of that first year, I traveled with over 100 students to New York City for a choral competition (my first trip "alone" if you can believe it!) where we walked the streets of the city en masse at all hours of the day and night, ending up on the observation deck of the Empire State Building at 12:00 midnight. There was a pay phone (this was long before cell phones!) and I called home to tell Jim where I was, knowing he would be incredulous that I had overcome my near crippling fear of heights and was absolutely glorying in the twinkling city lights spread out all around me.

That experience sums up quite well one of the most valuable lessons my friend taught me and all those people who stood on stage to honor her last night. You can overcome your fears, and when you do, the possibilities will sparkle endlessly before you. What a great gift, from a great teacher, and a woman I'm proud to call my friend.