Birthday

Birthday

You were born on the cusp

of the earth's yearly turning,

that bitter twist

toward cold and death.

We call it fall,

but you lifted us up

with your feverish excitement

and passion for truth.

Your seasons were marked

with love and devotion.

But you -

always searching, never finding,

unable to bear

the full fire in your mind -

found comfort at last

in arms cold as ice.

Winter, your womb

at the end.

In memoriam -J.D.D. September 1, 1978-January 31, 2006

Poetry Thursday-Poem In My Pocket

my backyard, early this morning

Why I Wake Early

~Mary Oliver~

Hello, sun in my face

Hello, you who make the morning

and spread it over the fields

and into the faces of the tulips

and the nodding morning glories,

and into the windows of, even, the

miserable and the crotchety-

best preacher that ever was,

dear star, that just happens

to be where you are in the universe

to keep us from ever-darkness,

to ease us with warm touching,

to hold us in the great hands of light-

good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day

in happiness, in kindness.

Written neatly on a piece of pretty paper and folded gently in half just once, this poem has been tucked inside my wallet all week, serving as instruction, prayer, and benediction all in one. I know I've posted this poem before, but it's one that always comforts me and sends me onward into life with a renewed spirit.

A Whole World of Friends

I'm about to say goodbye to some very special friends who have been keeping me company for the past few weeks. They've had some troubles during that time - a marriage has gone sour, and a career has gone down the drain. A little boy got into some trouble at school, and a bigger boy ended his life tragically. But there were triumphs to share as well - a new love for one, a happy move to another state for someone else. A young woman, traumatized by an accident, regained her sense of self and made peace with her life. I've become really involved in all their lives and loves, their fears and struggles, their hopes and dreams. Sadly, our relationship is about to come to an end, and I know I'm going to miss them.

By now you've probably guessed I'm talking about a book. I am a voracious reader, and sometimes a book comes along that just sucks me in until I barely know where the lives of the characters end and mine begins. I find myself anticipating the times when I can be with them, find out what's going to happen next in their lives, much as you would anticipate getting together with beloved friends.

This book is one of those delightful, delectable books that I want to last forever. And the thing that's made it even more enjoyable for me is that I'm listening to it as an audio book. Now for a long time, I just hated audio books. It seemed that as soon as the reading started, I would completely zone out, and before long several tracks had gone by with me paying absolutely no attention. Lately though, the tide has turned. I've listened to about a dozen audio books in the last year, always while I'm driving, and I've come to enjoy them immensely. They completely transport me from the world of traffic, cities, and superstores on every corner, and place me squarely in the midst of a completely different world filled with interesting characters and their joys and dilemmas.

Julia Glass is one of those authors whose writing I just want to wallow in. She has the most luscious way with phrases and descriptions, and her sentences are always so rich and comforting, like sweet, dark chocolate. When I first started reading (or actually listening) to this book, I feared I would be disappointed that I didn't have those beautiful words in front of my face, to re-read and study in black and white. But they translate perfectly into spoken words, and seem to resonate in my mind throughout the day.

As I listen to the last few pages in this magical novel, I'm preparing myself for the farewell that will come in the next few days. After 19 CD's, I've gotten to know this little group of people very well. My car will seem quite empty without them.

One Deep Breath-The Faces of Humanity

Cherished young life

experiences unfold

promise to fulfill

I had an unexpected opportunity to visit with my friend Cara today (you can read more about Cara here) and was reminded once again what a bright light she shines into the lives of her family and friends.

For more haiku, go here

Sunday Scribblings-The Monster

My son had a recurring nightmare when he was a child, and it centered around something he called "the dark 2000 years old." He would awake in absolute terror, yet he could not (and to this day still will not) talk about this monstrosity that terrorized his dreams. So often the biggest monsters in our lives are the ones we refuse to confront. Like an ancient, dark presence they lie buried in our souls, coloring our behavior, our attitudes, our ability to live life to the fullest, often without our even being aware of their existence.

Perhaps it is dissapointment in a spouse, who in some way has failed to live up to the expectations and dreams you once shared.

Perhaps it is anger at a parent, who failed to provide the love and encouragement you needed.

Possibly, it's guilt surrounding a failed relationship with a family member or friend.

Maybe it's disillusionment regarding a career that has proven to be less fulfilling and rewarding than you had hoped. Or a dream for yourself that you've neglected to pursue.

So often we shelter these dark monsters in our heart, afraid to expose them to light and compassion, and change. It takes great courage to grab hold of these creatures and stare them in their wretched faces. And sometimes you can't do it alone - you need the presence of a strong and steady lover or friend to stand guard as you struggle with the demon. Yet, if you are powerful enough to conquer your own "dark 2000 years old," how safe and free you will become, safe enough let yourself love with abandon, free enough to pursue all those dreams you've hidden away.

My little boy used to stand wild eyed and trembling at my bedside in the middle of the night, consumed with fear at this indescribable horror that had insinuated itself into his life. I would scoop him up into my arms, ply him with gentle conversation and some warm Ovaltine, read his favorite storybooks, and try my best to eradicate the evil monster in his mind. It wasn't all that difficult to do, because, as bad as his "dark thing" was, it was a vague, amorphous evil. As adults, our monsters are often all too solid and well-formed. Dealing with them might require tougher measures than a gentle cuddle and a story with a happy ending.

Then again, perhaps not. Sometimes even life's oldest, darkest dilemmas will respond quite well to a hearty dose of love, optimism, and faith.